♥time does heal wounds but eventually leave scar in your heart.

01 July 2011 { 02:09 }

hello people. finally ended common tests. it sucked! imma fail modules lor sigh. my human biology!! *@#&$*(@#&*@ GAHSHSHSHSHSH. okay idk what i doing. anw. :/ today math!! gosh!! so irritated by the paper. thank God that He's always with me man. firstly i was kinda dozing off. secondly. i didnt finish the paper. 3rd because the paper had 6 questions, gotta pick 5 and do. then one question 20mark. paper out of 100. one hour to finish everything. that's madness. i cant even finish my 2hour sec school papers, and you expect me to finish one hour 100mark math paper? i end up doing like 3.5/5 of the questions. i'm super upset! :( no time to finish lor. sigh. nvm. still thank God for the accompany throughout the entire math. i know i've done my best; God will do the rest. though i'm kinda like expecting what, a C alr cause i lost like about 30marks. and you know in poly 30 marks makes BIG BIG difference? == sigh. nvm!! :D God's still good no matter what the circumstance is. :D

anw, today. after paper i went eat with weijun & kangling. then trained to esplanade. chatted with reb clarisse and liting and stella. stella damn cute and funny!! i like talking to stella!! yay can get to know her more :D heheh :D ya lor. then lg hahah! played games, ate. enjoyed the lg. :) laughed alot!!!

okay. nothing much alr. one thing to do...
rebecca, this is for you. ahh, i've no idea how to bring about the subject and like its all so awkward for this type of subject and all.. ohwell..
hey rebecca, got sth to tell you. have been struggling with it for the past week? dk whether to tell you or not. and i lack of the courage to even talk about it. so... i suppose i'll blog it. dk how to say in rl. yeah... finally mustered the courage to say. somehow i got this very strong feeling that i should say it like today to you. ahh. been praying about it, guess thats God's answer for me? :o
anw.. i wanna tell you that... er, i'm in a relationship with weijun. argh crap feels soooooooo weird. anw.. i've thought about it for very very long. like analysing luh :/ then somehow i decided on this decision? aiya idk how to phrase it. anw.. i think with this relationship at this point of time, it really prompts me to start relying on God more. in such a short period of time, went through so much (you've read my blog, you know.), and suddenly God placed a sheep for me to take care of, when actually i'm excited and nervous about this. excited because its my first time having a sheep; i wanna leave a positive impact in her life. nervous because i think i'm afraid i'll screw it up. but well, when God decided to let me go through something, He will definitely equip me with the things needed. and He's always there for me. yeah. anw, with all these things. on top of that there's restructuring; which means there's change. yeah changes are good; it challenges everyone for a breakthrough, including myself. also with common tests... hmm. i think all these stuffs, at the end of the day, requires me to rely and depend more and more on God Himself. as i reflect and thought about it throughout the past few days, thats what my "conclusion" is. with all these things, i know somewhere somehow i'll be drained out. people may fail, but i strongly believe God never fails. He has been there for me. yeah... anw yeah the r/s with him part, yeah its not because of these reasons la. but these are the factors i considered before deciding. yeah... hey reb, i hope you'd kinda understand. the feelings part ofcourse is there. hmm :/ feels so weird. but rebecca, i decided to tell you all these stuffs is not because oh i need to account, but i wanna start to open up my life to you. share life tgt. can help each other to grow mah. :/ ya lor. then i hope that it'll improve our communication (like lesser secrets or sth?? dk how say) and relationship between us!! :D oh ya rebecca. thanks for all the encouragement you've given me. i've much to learn from you man. hmm. do continue guiding me (ofcourse God's guiding me too, but i believe God placed ppl around to guide me too), i know i'm stubborn at times, and do have my own point of view... but if you think i've somewhere i need to change in, do tell me. correct me gently please!♥ yeah. i wish to help out more in the new structure, so.. yeah got any probs just tell me okayyyyy!! i wanna do more for His kingdom. i want to learn to balance between studies, relationship, ministry, family, friendship etc.. (: ya lor.. will share with you more of my struggles (when i think of it). yeps. i might be slow in growing sometimes due to some struggles (yes, esp my anger/attitude, still trying to change for the better, been praying too..), but yeah. sometimes.. slow and steady does it? i suppose? :/ yeah.. ahh i currently cant think of anything else ler.. so.. yepps :) once again, sorry for like sharing just on my blog. cause idk how am i gonna say all these face to face. :o ya lor... if you've anything to tell me or sth after reading this.. do text me okay! nvm de :) i'll try to reply asap. haha. OH ANDAND.. keep it low profile please~~~ thanks.♥ at least for now :/ okay... thanks sheppyy.♥♥♥♥♥

whew, took alot to type those. :/ ahhhhhhhhhh. have been struggling for days in my head alr. i know its abit.. sudden and stuffs. :/ ah crap :(

okay need to replenish my sleep. sigh. common tests!!!!!! D: God give me the strength to start studying and mugging for my examinations already. :( sigh. :( my gpa :(((((
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Jeremiah 29:11]. shall not worry so much bah. also, since today has enough worries of its own. wooooo~ okay. PTL! :D ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ okay nights. i'm hungry.

PS. cant wait for later! :D hahaha going out with sotong :D God bless this day!♥ oh, kangling going bugis too with her alice hahaha! :P being esme, the mother, should be happy when alice and bella hangout together. omo affected by kangling, TWIHARD FAN!! HAHAH♥♥♥. :D okayyyyyyyyy. cant wait to spend some time with sotong.♥ nights.