*beneath the strong side of me are all sorrow&tears ; just putting on a strong front.

2011-12-31T02:11:00.003+08:00

its 31/12/11; last day of 2o11. well, started this year soso, with my o's results out. i still rmb i took my results from mryuen, then didnt dare to look at it, fearing that i'll fail or whatever. i told God to gimme some courage, then finally i looked at it. i saw that i had 2 As and rest Bs. okay next, my As were A2s. okay.. was hoping for certain subjects. but thankfully there's no 5/6 (C5/C6). that moment i'm like, i passed my a math? :O then i looked at the subjects. GOSH NO JOKE, A2 FOR COMBINED HUMANITIES WHEN I SCREWED MY PAPER?! wow. half disappointment, half unexpected. then i calculated. dang, 14points r4, 17points r5. i cried. quite badly. re-arranged my future path. hoped for it. submitted my choices. dang again, on the JAE results day, i'm like WTS @*%&@*(#&@*( I'M IN NYP?!?! so damn far from my house. got into Medicinal Chem in NYP. my 6th choice i think? was so troubled. thank God for xinyi, pei me go SP walk walk, see scores. wanted to appeal to SP. then end up cannot. so i'm like, okay, God you decide where You want me to go. i appealed into Molecular Biotechnology in NYP. and dingggg i got in. and so, i moved on from Central, to NYP in PolyDINS. wasnt that bad. still trying to fit in till now. but i guess its all God's plan. seriously.

then came FO2o11! was kinda excited & nervous at the same time. its like, dk what to expect, who are your new classmates etc. came with huifang. realised that we're in different classes. had a sad face. then i told God, give me courage strength and whatever i need in my class. most importantly, Your presence! &i walked into the sports hall. went in, sat down. one minute later this girl walked in and sat beside me. her name is Kangling! :D so yeah, tada! my first new friend in poly! she's a really great friend, and sister to me. a God-sent angel in my poly life. she encourage me, pray for me, be there with me, makes me laugh. whee~ :D oh anw, then back to FO. sat round a circle, thats when i got to take a GOOD LOOK at my new classmates. okay honestly, i wanted to see mainly the guys. opps. HAHA SECRET EXPOSED. anw, found out that there's seriously VERY LITTLE GUYS in my class. not even one is shuai. okay got kinda average looking ones. then there's this idiot sitting at the opposite side, staring at my direction and laugh! idiot. his name is Chong Wei Jun. :3 oh, i think my class only got like 2/3 average looking ones, at that time. gradually i knew their names. Omesh is the more buffy type. but not my cup of tea. not bad looking though. then, Wei Jun! omg. *FACEPALM* okay la i thought he was quite average looking alr. one of the more shuai ones. but he OVER FRIENDLY. well, and for hairstyle? i like KaiQiang's hairstyle the most, at that time. hehe okay secret exposed. the girls, KaiHui is the most pretty. actually, i think my class girls on average all quite pretty leh. *inferior self out* LOL. ._. yeah lor. then after the whole FO, one point i got was, our class guys are brave people!! yay!! :D yup. and from the 2nd day of FO onwards, i was texting weijun the whole time. ._. man! but seriously those days were amazing. LONG smses, never ending topics. look at now! nothing. ._. idiot, i send him long msg he reply so short. sigh! *faints*

yup. so far poly life is okay for me. just that i've to buck up on my studies. and stop being such a slacker. :( and in poly, idk if its part of God's plan too, i'm together with weijun^^ though the road hasn't been easy. trust me its not easy. but i guess when God's been there with me, He pulled me through and told me i'm not alone. even when i'm faithless, i doubt, God is still God, He still loves me for who i am, He listens & He gives me whatever i need to carry on. from 23/o6/11. alot of things happened, even before we're together too. but i wanna give my best in this whole relationship thing. i realised, we're helping each other to grow. when something is wrong, we talk it out. compromise here and there, like not be so stubborn. sacrifices are made, definitely. but boy i pray that whatever i've done wont be in vain. i appreciate you so much, i learn to cherish too. through the quarrels, i learnt to depend on God more, for strength, for wisdom, sometimes just rely on Him, let God take the lead. and also through quarrels and disagreements, i've learnt to gradually change to be a better girlfriend for you, a better person, and learn to accept each other's differences. i hope that you wont give up on us. i know i've been a wilful, stubborn, hot tempered, and kinda attitude girl. but thanks baby, for not giving up on us.♥ lets both hold on, & believe that we'll make it through despite everything. and hopefully, prayerfully one day, you'll be able to attend services etc & serve God tgt with me consistently! jiayou baby, dont give up. :) dk anything can ask me or justin, whoever you're more comfortable with. really. i may not know alot of things, but i'm trying and growing. yayyyyyyy~

loveyou so much hermeschongweijun.♥ :D really appreciate you so much. :')♥

&to everyone who has been with me through thick and thin, be it believer or not.
xinyi, yuwen, kangling, eugenia, & lots more, i appreciate you guys so damn much! seriously. if not for you guys, esp xinyi, yuwen & kangling. ♥ love you guys so much! seriously!♥ for listening to all my rants, how i feel etc.. :D
as for my mehmeh aedy, thanks for being so tolerant with me, for being so patient with me. i know i havent met you for formal shep for a long long time. really really sorry, i really do appreciate you as a goodfriend (: putting aside the church stuff, you're an awesome friend! no i'm serious. you listen to me, even though you're older than me. you listen you talk to me about some stuff too... i may not be good enough, but i'll try. do tell me how you feel about me or whatever k! really, just tell me your opinions :D ♥ yup! :)
for reb, sorry for not opening up to you much. am trying, but sometimes i find it difficult to talk to you. perhaps its the personalities bah. but you're a really nice friend, if putting aside ministry. :) yeah. thanks so much! :)

well will end here. my eyes, its giving up on me. damn pain. :'( cyas people.

PS. baby, i love you, & i pray that we'll last till the end of time hehehehe.♥ HermesChongWeiJun, 23o611.♥ :D thankyou so much, baby, for everything you've done for me. really appreciate it.♥ :D

2011-12-03T02:12:00.003+08:00

its officially december. so many things happened, be it happy sad thankful angry heartbreaking etc... its been five months since we're together. so amazing. God kept me together throughout this whole period. there are times i feel like breaking down, giving up, etc. but God kept me going. He gave me strength, wisdom, and a little courage & faith. He placed amazing people by my side, like Kangling, to tell me that i'm not alone in my everyday life, physically. :)
baby, its been five months plus since we're together. i cherish every moment we're together. been through ups and downs, quarrels, tears, smiles, laughter, joy... despite everything, we're still together. i really thank God for keeping me strong, and keeping us together for this long. i pray that we'll be able to continue on. i know that with our characters, differences, etc. we're meant to slowly build each other up, to help each other to grow. i wanna thank you for everything, baby. everything you've done for me. when i throw temper, when i'm wilful, when i doubt myself. giving me surprises when i least expected it. really, thankyou very much.
i love you, hermeschongweijun.♥ from 23o62o11, 1646, till the end of time.♥ :)

2011-08-31T01:15:00.003+08:00

hi people. i think its like damn fast can. in a blink of an eye, its gonna be september. wow. its like, i started school five months ago, and tada! five months is gone!

all these while, i wanna thank God for ALWAYS being there for me, be it happy, sad, frustrated, worried, upset, when i cry, when i needed someone to talk to... God i KNOW that You can hear me! by faith, i know that You hear me, You listen, You're watching over me. thank You Lord. ^^ when i thought i was alone facing all the shit, You are there, giving me strength, telling me "hang in there My child!" :)))) i feel so blessed. if it wasn't for You God, i'd probably given everything up by now. even when i neglected You, complain too much, sin against You, but Lord, You're so gracious. i'm really really grateful :D *.* Amen! (Y)

anw, i hope, and pray that, this upcoming job will allow me to change my sleeping habits. seriously. i need to stop sleeping so late D: onoz. God, be my alarm clock every morning kay :P heeheh ^_^
hopefully tmr's interview will pass, then can work. but prayerfully i still can make it for lg and shepherding. not forgetting i've a sheep to teach. teach me how to manage time man. :B meow.

heheh i thank God for weijun too. he made me realise many things, made me learn/relearn lessons, both good and bad. thank God for kangling too, being silently by my side, cheering me up etc. God, she's one of the angels You sent right? :)))))))) thank You ^_^ :D xoxo<3

okay i gtg. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
PS. baby i want us to last till the end of time too. i wish, i hope, i pray... prayerfully, we're meant to be. <3 i love you, so much more than i ever imagined. *.* <3

2011-08-27T01:21:00.003+08:00

hello people. been ages since i last blogged. from then till today, many many many things happened. be it studies, relationship, friendship etc. too lazy to blog everything.

but after all that we've went through (in the r/s), i learnt to cherish you more. it came to a point that i was actually afraid of losing you. the countless apologies even for the minor things, the eating-humble-pie, all the love and forgiveness, taken a step back.... these are all signs that i'm actually afraid of you. yeah, i'm telling you all these (if you'd still read HAHA.). yeah. perhaps after reading this you might think that oh, since you got the "power" over me, you could take me for granted or whatever. i dont know. but, i just hope that you wont, and you'd just cherish what we have together now. its not easy for me to survive till today. but because of you, and by God's strength. i survived. i persevered. i hope in times of troubles, you wont give up on this relationship, and hang on just like i did for you, for us. yeah. you're the one who somehow made me pluck up my courage again just to believe in the one i love, trust them, etc etc..... yeah. i pray so much that this holidays will be a time whereby we both can treat each other WAY better, and perhaps put in more effort to make things work out. yeah.

studies. finally end of exams. was so stressed that i mentally broke down few times, at home mainly. i really have depression, dont i? :/ okay i shouldnt say what i've done but oh well... havent been having enough sleep. SO MUCH MORE MOODSWINGS ._. kkthxbai. ._.

sigh, i should go offline alr. i NEED to sleep, after the long day. with 1h plus of sleep (5am- 630am). :/ okay bye sweetdreams. :)

2011-07-19T21:32:00.003+08:00

hi people. been ages since i blogged.

short one.. sigh.
i know you're sick and tired of hearing sorry(s). but, seriously. i cant help it when i said those stuffs. i only said how what i thought and felt. i suppose that things dont work this way sometimes. truth... how much does it worth? speaking the truth could only destroy the whole r/s, just like what happened between us. but, i know that truth is an essential to build a r/s... i dont wanna build mine on lies. sigh. seriously, everytime i see private stuffs from your phone with another girl, i cant help but to be jealous. and to think of what did you guys say... seriously. forget it. i suppose i just have to accept the harsh fact that you and girls are really like... have great affinity. sigh.. idk. i'm just so afraid.
but nevertheless, i still thank God for placing you in my life. God has made the perfect choice for me, for me to be in nyp and not SP. regardless of whether like ministry, school, course, friends etc... i'm thankful that i'm here in nyp, serving Him here. (:

well byeee. nomood~

2011-07-15T02:36:00.006+08:00

hello people. its been days since i last blogged. O_O anw. dk why always have mood swings at night de. geez. ._. seriously man, my moodswings worsen at night. ohwell, better la. later i hurt too many ppl around me subconsciously :( sigh. oh well.

today was chem day! had chem for the whole day. this thermochemistry chapter isnt that bad after all. tried to focus at the end, but failed. lol. too excited to see rebecca. hahaha! cause i had shepherding after lect. (informal laaaa). then like.. during lecture baby slept and snored. rofl. then kq heard, he was like, wth! hahah then i faster wake him up. he sleep uh, always drool one. wonder what he dreams about when he sleeps. (pretty galxzxz perhaps? HAHAHAHA!). well. had nyp vision night today. so fun. but i realised, i cant really have worship after a long day of school. i'll get distracted and semi doze off. == i mean like, solo worship can. but those like whereby you've to stand de... i'll sleep while standing. :3 ah crap, need to quit this bad bad thingy. :( then.. haha but still, worship is refreshing after a long day of school!! dk why my headaches nowadays are on and off. suddenly having headache now. sigh.

oh yeah.. thanks baby for being there for me when i'm like so mean to you. thanks for tolerating with me. sorry for all the troubles i've caused you.
when a girl pushes you away, its not that she wants you to walk off, but its because she still wants you to pull her back, hold her tighter, and not let her go. yeah. girls are complicated creatures too. hehehe. understand what i mean sotong? :B

ah crap. hate myself for being so fearful. haaaaaaaaah, because of one experience in camp and another after camp, i'm so afraid that he'll once again get attracted by other girls. oh well.. and thats when my possessive attitude comes in. stupid crap. i know i cant be that way; i might end up losing him for good. geez. seeing those people just spoil my day. D: but its inevitable! :( nono, i must learn to love them. ehehehe... God, i submit all these fears and burdens into Your hands oh God. i know i'm not strong enough to walk with all these fears with me in a r/s. God i pray that You'll bless this r/s, in a way that yeah, we go through trails and obstacles, but its because You know that we can pass the test (with Your strength ofcourse~), then You'll place the obstacle there. oh yeah, i thank You for eunice, aka xiaoqiang (HAHAHA dk why ppl keep calling her that last time o_o) for giving me some advices. yeah. learn to trust. i'm learning. its tough. it may take few months, or even a year. you know... like, trust takes a million years to build up, and yet just a mere few seconds to destroy everything built, and after that, it's quite impossible to build it back again. ah crap. oh well~~ God thanks for being so awesome and so real in my life. i seriously think that if i havent come to know You, i wont be the same me today. seriously. :) yeah...

hehehe :D faith. hmm. okay... i decide that i'm too tired to continue on... and i feel damn guilty for falling asleep while doing qt yesterday ==" gosh. ohwell. nights earthlings. :)

PS. i cant wait for sunday. :D and we need to be firm on some things yeah?(:

2011-07-12T20:23:00.004+08:00

hello people. its been ages since i last blogged. hahaha! and baby is like, blog la go blog. :3 okay idk what to post about.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh. hey baby i'm so sorry about my mood swings today and yesterday (i think??). sorry that it affected your mood too. mehmeh~~ ): ah, i feel so suck man, always have mood swings. >.< hmm. well, i really hope that it wont affect our relationship yeah? :/ meow. :/

today not so good day. i know i'm screwed for human bio. sigh. but still.. nevertheless, i still wanna thank God for being so real in my life. yesterday while walking home from bus terminal, was in a super bad mood at that moment (okay for the whole day). then like, suddenly saw two cute dogs with their owner. idk why the moment i saw the 2 dogs (and the considerate owner who bothers to put newspaper on the grass for the dog to shit on), my mood was greatly lifted! awesome manxzxz :D before that i was like telling God about my day and my worries at that moment. then like, it seemed like a God-filled moment okay! His presence felt so real at that point man. ahhh! thank God for cheering me up when i'm sad. :DDDD hehehe :D anw... God, thanks for really always being there with me 24/7. though situations, people, circumstances, problems etc may fail, but You never will! just like how my human biology CT will fail, but You wont. i trust in that, i trust in You ^^ :D hehehe. :D

okayyyyyyyyy. seriously lazy to blog, yawning like mad alr. i need a shower then print the chem tut out. sigh. no time no time! fell sick, recovered ABIT, then still sick now. sigh not enough sleep :( okay... byeeeeeeeeee! :) hope everyone's doing well; i'm still surviving.. at least, still holding on to Him and His promises, :D okay byeeeeeeeeeee. nights :D

2011-07-08T03:43:00.003+08:00

hello people. its been days since i blogged! :o

and now i realised.. actually weiting knows my blog too! omgomg! haha! my meimei, in a way.

ahhh, school sucked. hate it when people say "wah this paper (esp math) so easy! if i dont get A i will cry la!" etc de. sucks man. whenever i hear these type of comments, i immediately will sian diao~~ because for a person who's not good in math, when you hear this from another person (okay, your classmate(s)), you'd be like, screw my life, whats this? yeah thanks i know i'm not that standard but you dont have to say it in my face right dude? == ohwell. forget it. i hate it also when people compare their results. it makes me feel.. inferior. == esp for math. now... biology included too. == sigh. perhaps its just not my fate?

anw, today, i really thank God for answering me so fast. baby's friend went to disturb us on facebook, saying baby two-timing me etc de. then i'm like wts. when baby saw it he damn angry (no i mean seriously damn angry). sigh i feel damn bad for spoiling their friendship. now because of me their friendship spoil alr. ): sigh. anw, but somehow it felt so shuang, after "shooting" ppl back after so long. like its been a long time since i shoot someone. HAHAHA :D i'm so bad i know. but.. sorry eh, when i'm not happy with something, i'll say de. :/ sometimes. hmm... sigh. i still feel bad. omo, i'm in his friends de bad books alr! ): meow~

ohhhh, baby wanna come back church again!! :D yay baby! we'll see how okay? find one day bring you back again hehe :D cause you cant go out on sat mahs... hmm.. i really really hope you'll come back church hehe :D it'll be damn cool, us being in same church :D hohoho! :D xoxo baby~~

anw.. yeah. i'm hungry, AGAIN! ): sigh i've officially fallen sick. sore throat, dry cough, running nose (NONSTOP OKAY), headache, and i think imma have fever soon. sigh! ): life sucks sometimes. gonna get results. i just pray that i dont fail modules (my hbio!! T_T). meow. ): idw repeat lor. sigh. okayyyyyyyyy. time to sleep. nights nights ppl. :D

PS. thank God for prompting me with the sermon few weeks ago. giving the benefit of doubt i think. learning to trust first before doubting. yeah.. if not, i think the r/s between me and baby would have been ruined. God i thank You for helping me in this. You're awesome! (:
and baby, iloveyou too. i really do.♥

2011-07-03T19:44:00.002+08:00

hello people :D okay laaaaaa. :D

hmmm met baby. then talked and talk and talked. love the talks we had. it felt so different in a sense. very comfortable. its like we're very close friends. hahaha! :P hmm, talked about his childhood, abit of my childhood. our past. learnt how to play monopoly deal! thanks baby!! :D thanks for teaching me how play monopoly deal :x omgomg!! haha!! :P
i love it when you're so protective of me. hahahah i love the times we spent together just talking and walking. and eating like i'm 35kg and you're 45kg. HAHAHA!! :P eat and eat and eat!! :D okayyyyy. lets go out again soon!! :D

so fun lor. talking to weiting, kaiqiang, and baby on msn. hahah! couples talk! HEHEHE :D meimei, meifu, and baby, we should all go on double dates soon! :D this wed? :D hehe if i not meeting my cousin for lunchie. :P hahhahaah :P xoxo. lets go man~~

okay byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. maple!! :D

i hope we'll last long. :D

2011-07-01T02:09:00.003+08:00

hello people. finally ended common tests. it sucked! imma fail modules lor sigh. my human biology!! *@#&$*(@#&*@ GAHSHSHSHSHSH. okay idk what i doing. anw. :/ today math!! gosh!! so irritated by the paper. thank God that He's always with me man. firstly i was kinda dozing off. secondly. i didnt finish the paper. 3rd because the paper had 6 questions, gotta pick 5 and do. then one question 20mark. paper out of 100. one hour to finish everything. that's madness. i cant even finish my 2hour sec school papers, and you expect me to finish one hour 100mark math paper? i end up doing like 3.5/5 of the questions. i'm super upset! :( no time to finish lor. sigh. nvm. still thank God for the accompany throughout the entire math. i know i've done my best; God will do the rest. though i'm kinda like expecting what, a C alr cause i lost like about 30marks. and you know in poly 30 marks makes BIG BIG difference? == sigh. nvm!! :D God's still good no matter what the circumstance is. :D

anw, today. after paper i went eat with weijun & kangling. then trained to esplanade. chatted with reb clarisse and liting and stella. stella damn cute and funny!! i like talking to stella!! yay can get to know her more :D heheh :D ya lor. then lg hahah! played games, ate. enjoyed the lg. :) laughed alot!!!

okay. nothing much alr. one thing to do...
rebecca, this is for you. ahh, i've no idea how to bring about the subject and like its all so awkward for this type of subject and all.. ohwell..
hey rebecca, got sth to tell you. have been struggling with it for the past week? dk whether to tell you or not. and i lack of the courage to even talk about it. so... i suppose i'll blog it. dk how to say in rl. yeah... finally mustered the courage to say. somehow i got this very strong feeling that i should say it like today to you. ahh. been praying about it, guess thats God's answer for me? :o
anw.. i wanna tell you that... er, i'm in a relationship with weijun. argh crap feels soooooooo weird. anw.. i've thought about it for very very long. like analysing luh :/ then somehow i decided on this decision? aiya idk how to phrase it. anw.. i think with this relationship at this point of time, it really prompts me to start relying on God more. in such a short period of time, went through so much (you've read my blog, you know.), and suddenly God placed a sheep for me to take care of, when actually i'm excited and nervous about this. excited because its my first time having a sheep; i wanna leave a positive impact in her life. nervous because i think i'm afraid i'll screw it up. but well, when God decided to let me go through something, He will definitely equip me with the things needed. and He's always there for me. yeah. anw, with all these things. on top of that there's restructuring; which means there's change. yeah changes are good; it challenges everyone for a breakthrough, including myself. also with common tests... hmm. i think all these stuffs, at the end of the day, requires me to rely and depend more and more on God Himself. as i reflect and thought about it throughout the past few days, thats what my "conclusion" is. with all these things, i know somewhere somehow i'll be drained out. people may fail, but i strongly believe God never fails. He has been there for me. yeah... anw yeah the r/s with him part, yeah its not because of these reasons la. but these are the factors i considered before deciding. yeah... hey reb, i hope you'd kinda understand. the feelings part ofcourse is there. hmm :/ feels so weird. but rebecca, i decided to tell you all these stuffs is not because oh i need to account, but i wanna start to open up my life to you. share life tgt. can help each other to grow mah. :/ ya lor. then i hope that it'll improve our communication (like lesser secrets or sth?? dk how say) and relationship between us!! :D oh ya rebecca. thanks for all the encouragement you've given me. i've much to learn from you man. hmm. do continue guiding me (ofcourse God's guiding me too, but i believe God placed ppl around to guide me too), i know i'm stubborn at times, and do have my own point of view... but if you think i've somewhere i need to change in, do tell me. correct me gently please!♥ yeah. i wish to help out more in the new structure, so.. yeah got any probs just tell me okayyyyy!! i wanna do more for His kingdom. i want to learn to balance between studies, relationship, ministry, family, friendship etc.. (: ya lor.. will share with you more of my struggles (when i think of it). yeps. i might be slow in growing sometimes due to some struggles (yes, esp my anger/attitude, still trying to change for the better, been praying too..), but yeah. sometimes.. slow and steady does it? i suppose? :/ yeah.. ahh i currently cant think of anything else ler.. so.. yepps :) once again, sorry for like sharing just on my blog. cause idk how am i gonna say all these face to face. :o ya lor... if you've anything to tell me or sth after reading this.. do text me okay! nvm de :) i'll try to reply asap. haha. OH ANDAND.. keep it low profile please~~~ thanks.♥ at least for now :/ okay... thanks sheppyy.♥♥♥♥♥

whew, took alot to type those. :/ ahhhhhhhhhh. have been struggling for days in my head alr. i know its abit.. sudden and stuffs. :/ ah crap :(

okay need to replenish my sleep. sigh. common tests!!!!!! D: God give me the strength to start studying and mugging for my examinations already. :( sigh. :( my gpa :(((((
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Jeremiah 29:11]. shall not worry so much bah. also, since today has enough worries of its own. wooooo~ okay. PTL! :D ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ okay nights. i'm hungry.

PS. cant wait for later! :D hahaha going out with sotong :D God bless this day!♥ oh, kangling going bugis too with her alice hahaha! :P being esme, the mother, should be happy when alice and bella hangout together. omo affected by kangling, TWIHARD FAN!! HAHAH♥♥♥. :D okayyyyyyyyy. cant wait to spend some time with sotong.♥ nights.

2011-06-28T21:31:00.004+08:00

hello people. :D yesterday was crap. today was crappier.

yesterday:
had chem CT yesterday. hmm. sigh. actually right, chem was okay! :P hehehe :P okay la, except the last question on the... idk, reaction equilibrium. stunned, dk how do. but still, thank God for giving me peace when i last min before paper started then pray. :P hehehe. :P God is good!! :D anw. quite fun luh (: after that... yeah went home... then... hmm.
ahhh, had talk with sotong again. i love those talks. can get to know each other more. yeah. and.. its like, being vulnerable when we open up our lives. yeah... (: heehee. :)
then crammed for hbio. fail. too tired. went to sleep. sigh. :(

today:
hbio was horrible terrible + vegetable!! stupid hbio. imma flunk the test i think. i only could do like less than 1/2 of the paper?? == wth?! sigh. so stressed lor. so disappointed by myself. sigh. but still, God's great, He been through with me my whole paper. hahah :D then... after CT went eat @ amk with sotong & kangling. then kangling said wanna lan. so lan-ed for 2hours. then went home~
so tired la! crap man.

okay. and so... i'm tired. dead tired. :( i dont even know i can stay up to do my qt or not. later do qt halfway i fall asleep... hais. :(

yeah lor. hahaha. sigh shall stop blogging and start studying. havent studied!! byeeeeeeee. nights. :D

PS. hi sotonggggg. that letter really touched me. and.. can see that you're serious. wow. okay. i will do my best to trust you, to have that lil faith in you. yes i admit i'm afraid, but... i'm willing to give this a chance. a try. but.. well. promise me that we'll go through everything together. facing obstacles with each other etc. most important, be honest. okay? iloveyoubaby♥.
oh and. thanks for being so protective of me. i appreciate that. yeah, i'm glad you understand my situation back then. sigh, so much for being an innocent lil girl. oh well. i really hope the past we've shared with each other wont affect the future of us. yeah... heeeeee. xoxo. :D ♥
oh, did i mention, i like the way you're protective of me. i like it (at the same time dislike it) when you're angry cause of whatever i've told you. it shows how much you care about me, show how much you do ♥ me.♥

2011-06-26T03:56:00.004+08:00

just one sentence. will edit tmr.

I want to be the girl he's scared to lose; the one where he can't walk away from knowing she's mad at him, The one who can't fall asleep without her voice being the last one he hears. the one he can't live without.
yeah, i want to be the girl that YOU are scared to lose.♥ xoxo.♥

right. i'm back. hihi. today met aedy & xiaoyuan @ orchard central. super late cause of some stuffs. got a new printer finally. gahhh!! but oh well. inkjet printer. O_O hmmm. aedy's gonna be my new sheep! gosh. sometimes things come too fast and shock you. well.. now, its a good news actually. but i'm worried at the same time. i worry that i wont be a good shepherd to her. i dont handle my stuffs well. i may not be able to teach well. and... many more luh D: i dont want to cause anyone to backslide :( meow. :( yeah lor. God i really really need Your strength, wisdom, and guidance. and.. many more. :( will learn to rely on You more and more!! >:D and hor.. i know Your timing is perfect, but i wonder why You'd give me this important role when i'm like.. idk. i've this r/s between me and sotong~ ahhh. could it be... You want me to rely on You at all times and learn to balance both or sth...?? aiya idk. :/ but, nevertheless. God i thank You :) heehee. i suppose i'd have much more to be busy and lesser time to spend on other stuffs... T.T ohwell. nvm. will try my best. God will guide me, He also place ppl in my life to give me suggestions/ideas. guide me too :D hmm..
after that i studied with kangling. not say very successful. had stomach ache, constipation... i hope its not gastric flu == yeah.. then.. ate abit kfc (AGAIN!!! I SUCK T_T). then.. hmm... went home?? O_O

hmm. common test tmr. sigh. i'm damn screwed. i shall try reading everything by tonight. :/ sigh!

oh well. on the brighter side of life... God's with me! and... meeting baby tmr!! :D hahahaah omozxzxz. hahah. so nice of him. fetch me from commonwealth mrt. oh well.. God i pray that i can wake up on time == i need go school revise == OMGXZXZX! :P haha. oh well. all the best to EVERYONE having common test tmr. yeah everyone, including ppl whom i kinda dont wish to see. yeah i'm spreading the love. :/ ohwell!! hahaha whatever. :/ hmm.

okay bye. need to CRAMP tonight! bye earthlings! :D

PS. i believe the day will come soon? perhaps? aww. you miss me heheheh *shyshy* hahaha!! :D yeahh.. (: nights nights!! :D:D jiayou for CT tmr. all the best okay? :)) heehee. :D
"i promise, and i swear, i wont break your heart, and will love you, and only you, always.<3 i will treat you and pamper you with my love.<3 my love is from the bottom of my heart, no strings attached.(: super duper wooper true.(:"-chongweijun. stupid sotong. :D:D

2011-06-25T01:09:00.004+08:00

hello people :D these few days have been great and bad! :3 great cause got to spend time with lg/kangling etc. :D bad cause.. I PROCRASTINATE TOO MUCH. damn it. ah crap, root of procrastination is laziness. and laziness is a sin!! :( cant believe i'm sinning so much w/o realising its a sin. :( gosh. sorry God, seriously i need Your strength to study!! kick my butt please; so that i can study. :( meow. okay... but still, thank God for all that He've been through with me. really. having a grateful heart is important. :)

anw.. God i need Your strength to continue walking and facing the CT. they're scaring me out. T_T i know i'm sooooooooooo dead. but i want to just give my best in studying with whatever time i've left, then i'll leave the rest to You :D ahhh God i pray for peace during exams too. and wisdom, plus enlargement of my memory space. 8GB not enough, need 32GB. :3 hahaha shit i feel so lamexzzxzx. okay.

shall study soon~ byeeeee. nights earthlings. (:

hahaha hi silly boy imissyoutoo): but well.. hopefully you can still study and and absorb the best you can okay!! heheh. God's there for you hohoho. :D
anw.. seriously, imissyou! cant wait to see you on monday hehehe :P takecare okay, recover soon :)♥♥♥♥

PS. actually right, now whenever MB1103/the ppl in there (yeah you should know who, the pretty galxzxz -.-) is mentioned, or whenever i see them/sth about them, ohman. it ruins my mood. :( bcos my mind will just have flashbacks of whatever happened in camp and few days ago. it stinks. really stinks eh the feeling. when you know that the one you love has actually been wavered by someone else whom made you&the one you love argue, made the r/s sour, and made your heart hurt (and break?) is caused by those people (fyi, they're pretty and they're older. but.. they almost captured your heart, OUCHx10000000000000000times.). to make things worse, they're in the same course (just different class) and you'll see them every lecture. and i can imagine how much it'll hurt when in school you see the one you've fallen for and THEM talking and smiling away. this makes me wanna dig a hole and hide myself inside, and never come out again. geez. this is sooo weird. but.... soafraidoflosingyou,esptoanothergirl.

ah damn it. i HATE moodswings at night. *waves to weiting & kangling* just to let you guys know you're NOT alone! because i experience this (upset&cry(maybe??)) at night de. :/ ahhhhhhhhh. CRAPCRAPCRAP! okay i shall sleep bah. sigh later not pretty alr. ): nights♥. its 4:13am.

2011-06-23T01:59:00.003+08:00

hello people. today ah. nothing much also. went clementi mall with kangling to study abit. completed mole concept (thats DAMN SLOW). then... bought cash, again. then train-ed and walked to my house for maple session again. after that at about 8plus pm, i sent her home, i mean to the bus stop. waited for bus with her. then went buy fried rice. wasted 30mins to wait for one packet of fried rice. ==

its.. 424am now. i'm still awake. trying to do the bulletin. hate this. :( sigh! aiya whatever will do the best that i can then yeah.. :/ hmmmmmm.

well. i really think that God is really like with me throughout all the crap and joy i've been thru for these two weeks. seriously. when i'm down, God knows, and He placed people whom i can talk to (like kaihui, during camp that time) around me. to tell me, my precious child, you're not alone. :))))))))))))))) really thank God for all the times. :D through this, hmmm r/s (? not bgr yet O_O) i've learnt more. experienced more. and somehow i feel that God is placing different people in my life to teach me, grow me, and mature me. my shepherd, the people in church, kangling, and even weijun. i think i really learn things the hard way.

yesterday's thing, i had this voice in me saying that i should just give him another chance. like, learn to trust him again, despite the two really hurting times. since he bothered to explain whats going on. and it somehow reminded me of God's love and grace to me. He forgave all my sins, i made so many mistakes, sinned so much, and yet God still gave me many chances. how amazing can God get? :D yeah, i decided that perhaps with lil more trust, faith, honesty and abit more love plus effort. this r/s might go far. well, it all depends on God, how He wants it to turn out. yeah... God taught me to forgive, to give second chances, no matter how much one has been hurt. yay, PTL :D

anw sotong, hopefully whatever you said, whatever you promise, is true. really. sucks to feel disappointed again and again :/ oh well. i look forward to what may happen between us, like... we put in effort to make this work. yeah...

okay i cannot post anymore. i'm not thinking straight. my mind's jumbled up. bye. will finish up asap. or not, leave the finalising to tmr. ~ NIGHTS!^^

2011-06-22T02:37:00.005+08:00

hi. today nothing much luh. went wena's house for SWnP project, recorded the results. then went cck for kfc with kangling. then came my house for maple... played till about 8pm, sent kangling off. went home. was worried for my mama just now. but thank God she's safe.

okay now...

i cant believe what i've just seen. i know i'm being a busybody, but if i werent, then i wouldnt have know that actually i'm not the one you yearn for. other girl is sooooo perfect. and i think i can roughly guess who. pretty, have brains, popular etc. typical guy's wishes for a girl. the perfect girl. i know i'm not perfect, but that doesnt mean that you've the right to hurt me twice in two weeks! when i decided to forgive and forget whatever happened in camp, you let me stumble upon this thing. yeah, i'm not perfect, definitely not the perfect one in your dreams. but thing is, i've feelings too boy! dont make me fall in love with you if you didnt plan to stay with me and be honest with your feelings in the first place. every experience is the same: random person came along, gradually she fell in love with him, and then he thanked and appreciated her by leaving her, or secretly saying that there's this other girl who's perfect, and if i've her, i wouldnt want the current one. what is this?! i dont get it. why cant you just tell me how you feel. let me know. this type of things.. better not to drag too long if you're stuck. because if you love/desire for two persons at the same time, choose the 2nd one (which unfortunately i'm not the one), because if you love the first one enough you wouldnt even have the 2nd.

sorry i'm not strong enough, sorry that i stumbled across this, sorry that i'm so foolish, sorry that i'm not perfect, sorry that i cant act like it dont affect me after whatever i saw... most importantly, sorry that i felt that you didnt cherish me enough. i can see, and i know, she's pretty, smart, popular, attractive etc.. the qualities that i dont have. sorry. but if you felt that way after the camp, you should've just told me how you felt. i really want to trust you. i do. i wanna have more faith in you. its just that whatever i stumbled upon tells me otherwise. i dont wanna lie to myself, neither do i wish to lie to you. and i hope you'd be honest with me. i do wish, very much, that i'm the only one, the one and only that you'll ever look at. that you'll ever love (from now). i want whatever you wrote for me on the blog to be true, and just for me. sigh. with NO OTHER GIRLS that you... might have feelings for? or you wished for.

i hate these things, esp right before common tests. i suppose woman's instincts are usually pretty accurate. i dont feel secure after the camp, very affected by the MB1103 bunch of girls esp. so.. i'm right?

i feel hurt. much more than i imagined.

tell me that i'm wrong, tell me i over-imagined. but most importantly.. tell me the truth. will we ever work out? will you just appreciate what you have now, instead of wanting what you dont have? sigh, i guess it's human's nature. greed.

its okay, whatever you want to post on facebook or msn whatever. continue. i'm fine with it. sorry if i made you have no privacy.

bye, i really need to sleep. sleep to prevent the tears from falling again. God, please help me survive this. sigh.

2011-06-21T01:50:00.003+08:00

hello people :) had a great time today:) thank God for letting me complete my molecules and ions chapter T_T do till can die can?! omg *faints* ahhaha :) hmmm, studied with kangling at clementi mall for awhile. then wd came. jw came too. gy too. then after that wanted play lan, but ended up all come my house. played maple together. still stuck at level60. :( then... sent kangling to bus stop. ate fried rice for dinner with weida & guyang. after that played cards. tried to learn taidi, but failed. EPIC SIA WALAO :( can fail at learning that. oh well. nvm its okay. hahaha too much of card games no good :P hahaha :) then.... home sweet home :))

tmr got project, swnp one. sigh, 12pm at lot one. with lunch eaten somemore! who the heck eat lunch so early. and... sot ah, i dont wake up so early. sigh nvm. must learn to work with perfectionists. ): God, give me strength, and patience, and even more strength to persevere and finish the swnp project asap! i dont wanna slack, so God, i pray that You'll help me to fight procrastination monster, and while i give my best in the swnp work, You'll do the rest!♥♥ :D yes! faith in You that You'll be there no matter what. :) ♥ okay, God i need to do the bulletin to. how sia, i need to photocopy ==

okay... yeah. dk what to write. o.o

hmmm... aww ppl miss me alot alot ehhh *shy* sotong dont worry kay? :) we'll see each other soon! (maybe monday? :O) dont sad luh, we still text okay!! :) hmm, actually i do miss you too. aww. :/ hmm, okay wait one thing! i pray that me and you, along with all the others, will be able to study hard for our common test and hopefully none of us (including me, i'm so the super worried!) will get a C or sth. hopefully all B+ and A, BEST IS ALL A & A+! :DDDD i believe you can do it too, trust me. :) i see the strengths in you, and i know you can. trust me kay? :) i know biology is your big obstacle now, but with the hardwork you're putting in, as long as you do your best, i believe God will do the rest. my own personal experience. :/ hmm. study smart too hehehe ^^ need tips? hahaha! :P jkjk. rmb help me with math okay. or not my common test sure die == actually idk what to ask, just sit down there and make sure i do my math. :/ *doze off* hahaha! :P hmm. yep.

dont worry dont worry, after CT we go party okay!! :) eat sth good :D hehehe. :) i can bring you around eat good food. hehehe food♥♥♥. :) ohhh, btw maybe next thurs hor, i'd have shep/lg. so maybe cannot make it full day... if no lg/shep we go walk walk and eat kay? :) if got.. then friday? :D you can mah? :O hmm. jiayou studying!♥ anything text me, i'm here with you. :D if i still sleeping, talk to God, He hears you hehehe. :P no, i mean, i'm serious! xxxxxxxxxx: geez.

okayyyyyyy.♥ missyoutoo.♥

nights people.♥ :) i'll need to find some time out to do the bulletin. i suck at designing and drawing, i wonder why they still assign me to this role. O_O but still.. nevertheless, i try my best bah!! >:/ not very confident but still... JIAYOU!♥ bye nights.♥ :)

2011-06-19T23:53:00.003+08:00

hello people. :) today nothing much la actually. hahaha. woke up. maple-d with sotong. finally level 60!! omg, and found out that i still cant gs yet == *faints* cant wait for 3rd job! hehehe :) started with my new account :) hehehe. and... yeah. nothing much luh. woke up at about 3pm? == crap man. body clock's screwed. need to start studying soon ==

okay nothing much to post. :)

anw... sotong dont worry about it too much yeah. :) seriously, like each day have enough troubles of its own. just dont think about it, go sleep tonight. then tmr think of sth bah. hehe... :) sleep tight tonight okay? rest very important! (: hmmm. i'll try to help you think too. hmmm... dont worry yeah, God'll make a way. hmmm. :) ♥

ahhahaha. hopefully you can go for your class bbq. (: good way to relax & catch up with friends :D kekekekex. looking forward to see you soon!!♥♥♥ :D

going out to study with kangling tmr!! the both of us fail to study at home :/ geez!

okay byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.♥ need to spend some time doing bulletin too!! ahhhh so excited for lg! finally not at nyp!! >:/

PS. i love it when you call me yours.♥

2011-06-19T02:00:00.002+08:00

hello people! :) today was quite awesome. went for youth service (2nd service) with eugenia. it feels the same but different. contradicting i know. hahaha! oh well. :) one of the things which impacted me: be generous. yeah, i mean in giving, be it sth to do with $$ or not, be generous. when i learn to give, i'll prosper. proverbs 11:25. :D hmmm. yeah, it made me re-think about my chairs for soul amount. i shouldnt just limit myself to 50. by that time, i'll see how much i can give. if i'm able to give more than $50, i will. because God is a God who provides for us. He wont shortchange us too!! so thankful for that. because like, we can never outgive God. God's blessing onto us is like, WOAH THATS ALOT. amazing! anw... yeah! hahaha another verse, 1 Thess 5:18. :) thank God in every circumstance, not thanking Him according to the circumstances (like when life's great then thank God). yayyyyyyyy :D new way to lead holy comm! :D yep! okay then...
after 2nd service, went to meet sotong. :D hahahah. he seems like, guilty for getting me into "trouble" with the "authorities", shepherds in this case. but... well dont worry there's more to come, esp when one is in church, and on the verge of going into a relationship. much much more troubles. but.. i'll continue learning and walking with God. at least i do my best to. people may not agree with what i think, say and do. but... well... anw. yeah, train-ed to woodlands, met his friends. and one fact i found out today: sotong's "fate with girls (nu ren yuan)" very good siol. ._. so many girl de friends. i mean like, his close friends alot girls O_O anw. yeah, went RP after eating for the concert. concert eh, quite okay luh. :) seldom go such concerts; rare chance!! i wonder when is queenstown choir going to have concert. :O mmm. ohwell.

hmmm overall the day was good. thank God, really. i didnt really know how to survive this day. yeah... and at first i didnt really think of going 2nd service, until eugenia randomly called me and ask can pei her go 2nd service, then i'm like, oh yeah.. can go 2nd service instead. at least i'll learn sth, and spend some time with God :D ♥ ahhh. mmm. yeah.

okay, shall go do qt and sleep. hahahaha. :)

PS. really like spending time with you too! :D like, i appreciate it for sharing with me. like telling me the truth luh. at least, i know a lil bit more about you. yeah... should do this more often. like, chats and night strolls (afternoon strolls are WAY TOO HOT.). OKAY?♥:D hahaha!! :P yeah, can get to know each other better... (: well, i dont blame you for lying at first :/ i understand the reason that you lied, but that doesnt mean that i'm okay with it. no more hor! or else... *evil* hah no la jk, but seriously. i'm a person who's like, i'd rather you hurt me with the truths than make me happy by telling me a bunch of lies which are not realistic. kayyyyys? :D hahahha, yeah and i really really hope you can come church some time too D: poly's different from youth, really. :/ mmm. well.. yay :D ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

geez, miss service too actually ): sigh. xoxo.♥

2011-06-18T00:56:00.005+08:00

hello people. wow i just found out few "stalkers" of my blog HAHAHA. reb, cj, huili, edwin. thanks man.

ahhhhh, reb found out this lil secret of mine (i meant the blog). oh well. nvm, she'll know sooner or later. well, its great that you read, cause i've no idea how long have i been struggling with myself whether to say or not. bcos i found it weird to say it out. yeah, so glad that you know. but well, one thing about this... please, like seriously, keep it among yourselves. i dont want this whole matter to be spread among the other leaders and stuff. i'd feel, kinda condemn in a way or another. darn. :( i mean like, please keep whatever you've read to yourself kay? just a small condition :/
anw... i just wanna say that... even though i know i might get into a r/s anytime (perhaps later in the year or sth?? dk, who knows when :O ), but it doesnt mean that i've lost my determination to serve God and continue impacting people's lives. i believe that God will bring me through all the ups and downs in life. i know i'm lacking in many areas, i'm very flawed in character, attitude, and sometimes even spiritual wise. but i want to learn, and slowly change. i believe God is moulding slowly throughout the years. i may get side-tracked for a while, but i wont want to leave this awesome path of life with God! because i know that ever since i knew Him, He has changed me, bit by bit, making me a slightly more postive person than i was 2years plus ago. He gave me the strength to carry on, no matter how tough things was. God also showed me that despite the fact that i was faithless, that i neglected Him somewhere somehow, He's still faithful being there for me. praise God for that! yeah. i dont wish that because of this, i wont get a chance to be a shepherd/leader to impact lives. cj, & reb, i hope that you guys will slowly guide me and teach me. i may be stubborn at times, we may not agree on certain things, we may have different viewpoints on a matter but still.. hmmm. i want to change my flaws, slowly and steadily. it may take months, or even years, to change one flaw, but i believe that with God, it will happen. yep.. mmm. well.

i'll try to post normally despite knowing there are actually humans reading my blog O_O its weird but yeah.

okay today! first had shepherding with reb @ 313 somerset. well, talked, found out sth shocking, then reflected. hahahah. then went home to put my sermon book, then went anchorpoint to meet huili laopohhhh!! :D my dear wifey.♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hahaha she's still as gong as ever! :P opps. hahahha. anw, did lil shopping at anchorpoint. huili bought like alot of stuffs. i bought nothing cause nothing seems nice. bleh! then, rushed to clementi mall to meet edwin!!♥♥♥♥♥♥ omg hahaha. otw there filled huili in with life! haha, okay its edwin who exposed my secret. kabish! stalker sia edwin tsktsk. anw, yeah. felt great to catch up with them! then, bought koi together. edwin first time buying koi by himself, and drank it once only (before this)! OMG SHOCKING EH. walk and walk, passed by comics connection about 4 times. saw my dear boyfriend (no, fiance actually) jonghyun!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awww honey! man, i meant the SHINee's MV la duh. hahaha jjong's hot, sexy and irresistable! :P opps! hahaha! anw.. went kfc for dinner (cant believe i'm eating it again ==). edwin still camera-shy!! )))))))))))))): oh well. nvm. after that edwin went home to prepare to go genting (OMG EDWIN I'M ENVIOUS :( NEVER BRING US GO!!!!!!), while me and huili went dhoby. actually i went there just to buy combs. but ohwell! hahah! saw weiling there too. omg hahaha! she this woman, so cool man! (: i like her lots! admire her too man! hahahha :) anw, then trained to clarke quay! bought stickys, saw hello kitty (actually huili wanna see. ROFLMAO!) hahhahaa! yeah, then sat by the river chatting and camwhoring! :) she said it felt like a date between couples. HAHAHHA! aww. :) anw, had a great time chatting with her. thank God for placing me in her life just to listen to her! (: i may not be much of a help, but i'm glad i can be her listening ear.
*rmb this: when someone shares something with you, be it a problem, or just their life, dont interrupt them with all the comments and solutions, or lecture them. instead, just listen. because about 99% of the time, people are seeking for listening ears, not lecturers/advisors who tell them what they should do. when they want advices, they will ask sth like, "what to do? what do you think i should do?". if not, just SHUT UP and LISTEN. at least that applies for me. thats why i dont share much with people whom, whenever i share something to them, they throw me back with one whole chunk of advices, comments, criticism, lectures when all i want is them to listen to me. this reminds me of me and cherynn last time. hahaha! when all she want me is to account to her (or rather tell her stuffs like about my life la), i dont. then finally one day, i told her why. hahahha! bcos she always lecture me off with the dos and donts or bring out a verse from the Bible. i mean, i do appreciate that. but sometimes all i want is just as friends, you listen to me and dont say anything unless i ask you like, what do you think i should do. or else i wont really share stuffs with you again. like, if you think i'm wrong, voice it out AFTER i've finished, at least ask for my opinion. you cant expect everyone else to think the same as you. for example, you may not agree with bgr at this age, but i think that as long as the passion for serving God is there, dont die off, and God's kingdom is priority, i think its fine. you cant force me to change my thoughts to yours. dont they encourage your own opinions on a matter too (in church, for improvements ^^)? like we're not puppets yeah? :o eh, wait i sound weird. hahahaha! one great thing about yw! and eugenia, weiling too sometimes. :) oh well. hahah! oh well!! i LOVE♥ good listeners.
okay sorry i side-tracked. anw, huili laopoh, always rmb that no matter what happens, if you need someone to talk to, i'll be there. i understand that you've limited sms. so just leave me a text alright? i'll try to be online asap so that we can fb chat. or even skype! haha! iloveyou my dear girl!♥ really honoured to have you as a closefriend. (: hopefully this friendship can maintain. yeah. thank God for you in my life too. (:

oh well. hehehe. cherish huili and edwin (the f/s between us) alot! hahah! :) known edwin for NINE YEARS! my closest guy friend and i'm proud of it! hahahah! :D thank God for edwin for bringing joy to the ppl around him hehehe. i rmb whenever i'm in a bad mood, he'll be like, make sth funny out of sth till i found no reason to be angry anymore and i'd just laugh like nobody's business! hahaha! huili also!♥ though i only knew her since sec3, but thank God that we survived through the "arguement" during sec3, and got closer in sec4 end of year due to some stuffs. :) meet up again soon okay? :D loves!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

okay. its 2.36am and i'm not asleep. thanks to this post. hahaha!

hmmm. this dilemma. between the devil and the deep blue sea (both side also die one).
actually later on in the evening, supposed to have service and prayer meet. but, wj bought and paid concert tickets for both of us with his sec school friends (i think its like choir concert). i do want to go for the concert (its choir for goodness sake!!!!!) and also, like. need to have a good talk with sotong after all that happened. like spend some time together, talking properly, like you know w/o arguing and stuffs. HOWEVER, there's service (on top of that there's prayer meet!!!). i also do want to go for service. praise, worship and sermon. sermon is one of the things that you cant miss out on! worship too, refreshes, renew, recharge, and rest. sigh. at this point of time i wish that i've a clone, so that i can be at two places at the same time. (oh, harry potter the time turner thingy. hahaha.) sigh! if things were only that easy that i could shift the meetup to another day. thing is, sotong cant get out of house (his parents strict ya'know). argh crap. i feel damn bad for not going for the concert cause firstly he paid for it, and 2ndly, like very pangseh! (that feeling sucks alright; hence dont treat others like that when you dont wanna be treated this way!! D: ). but you know like, service is important too. and the prayer meet, i suppose its about the new building and stuff (hopefully their paint and all dried, or not i wont be able to survive there; i'll vomit when i smell too much of paint. zzz.). cant i just make a way out of this? mmm. if i dont go, i waste a ticket, and a day to perhaps get things settled, talk things out, catch up together, and perhaps this matter will have to drag till maybe even after school reopen. but if i go, i'd be skipping service, missing out on sermon (though i do do my qt). oh crap. == so? get things settled once and for all, and catch up. or drag the matter and.... actually was thinking of having dinner together with sotong. mmm, but i planned dinner for the group. == ahhhhhhhhhh! both side also die. i wish i wont wake up till sunday man. seriously!!!

okay shall go offline alr. gotta do qt and sleep. sigh, headache sia. == and my muscle aches are still there!! it gets worse every time i wake up from sleep. later tmr i wake up muscle pain till i cant go for concert and service. HAHAHHA. best solution ever man, like seriously. ._. bye nights.♥

PS. damn, its not that i dont care about you. seriously! ._. i do care. but sometimes, somehow, try to put yourself in my shoes and think abit? :/ and, you very contradicting leh. you tell me go church, then after that say you really wanna spend some time talking to me (like me talking properly, instead of arguing). its not like i dont wanna spend some time talking to you properly, settle some things, and enjoy the time spent together, catching up. but... sigh! you're upset, and yet i can do nothing about it. helpless man. sigh. this feeling sucks. and no, no need advices for now, to others who're reading this blog. so difficult to be a human being. woof.

2011-06-16T17:21:00.004+08:00

hi people. SCL camp sucked. almost totally.
made new friends, got closer to kaihui. really thank God for kaihui for being there with me. w/o her idk how am i gonna survive my 3d2n camp, seeing him with other girls, having fun, not really noticing my existence. i feel so... sigh. i know he had fun. can see from facebook. he just posted. (PS. i'm not a stalker). i know he had fun with all the people (esp girls zzz) he just know. anw.. also wanna thank God for randal, for telling me his observations. for being such a nice friend to me. no i mean seriously, he's a damn nice friend. yeah.

anw... let me talk about how i felt throughout the days.

sigh, you know, sotong, i seriously feel damn alone, jealous and very hurt. sigh. i dont want to kick a big fuss out of anything, but seriously. it hurts. my heart hurts like its been stabbed 1000times at the same spot. i hate that feeling. everytime you didnt reply me, i'd be like a fool, waiting for your msgs. havent you realised? since tuesday, we texted. then gradually, till today, it changed from msging almost every minute till 2-3 replies per day. do you know how much it's killing me? i know that you might not feel anything. but, i do! i felt really jealous. every time i looked at you and see you having fun with them, it hurts alot. i feel like a fool, really. a fool who dont enjoy herself and looked at the person she has fallen for surrounded by girls, helplessly. i feel so helpless. the guy who promised that he'll be there with me, and for me, whenever i needed him. the guy who said that he wants to become the best boyf of mine that noone could be. the guy who said that he couldnt live w/o me. what happened? are these words/promises all fake? i dont know. its always when i start to put my faith and trust in a person, something would happen to break this faith and trust apart. i dont know. sotong i really want to talk this out. seriously. i feel so horrible. sotong, for the first time, i want to make effort to keep a r/s going. but please tell me what to do. are you going to just give up on all these and go enjoy, er flirting, somemore? i dont know! i dont feel secure.

what can i do now? you're not even replying my msg. do you have any idea how much i hope for? like, to receive a msg from you. you know, last time, whenever we're in the same room, despite lectures or whatsoever, you still bother to talk to me, hold my hand, or at the very least show some care and concern. but now, whenever we walk past each other, you dont even bother saying hi or sth. when we're in the same room, you dont hold my hand or even talk to me. when i walk out of a place looking sad, you dont chase/follow after me, ask me whats wrong, then hug me tightly. what's this?! i miss your touch, i miss your voice, i miss your smile, i miss your smell, i miss your hug, and.. most importantly.. i miss you. its been a very very long time since you replied. i saw you texting people, but apparently, i'm not the one. so you'd rather reply other people (or girls T_T) msgs than mine? look how insignificant i am. ): seriously, i need to know your decision. :( can you tell me how you feel about this whole thing, TRUTHFULLY? :( or... just text me! ): sigh. i feel so horrible.

or not... can you just sms me? i'm not strong enough to face this. i feel so alone. you've no idea how much i wanted to cry throughout the camp, but i've no courage to? sigh. whenever i hope for sth to happen, it'll never happen, and my hopes are then crashed. disappointments.

sigh. you sure you cant survive w/o me? then how did you survive for the past two days +++? :( sigh, and you sure that your love for me, until now, hasnt decreased? like, you still love me like the way you do before the camp.

i hate myself for being like this. i really do. are we able to maintain this relationship strong? it sucks to face this alone, can we face it together? i dont know. you decide. tell me your answer okay? i'll try to talk properly :/

you know just now ever since the day started, i've been waiting for your text, regarding like after the camp maybe wanna spend quality time together or not. but you didnt. you didnt ask me. i was hoping for you to take the initiative; just to clear this mess. i waited and waited, hoping that you'll text me. even when i'm on my way home, i still hoped that you'd text me. just a simple msg will do. but you didnt. just now in the lecture hall, i saw you texting. though i know its not me, but somewhere and somehow in my heart i still hoped that you were texting me. but again, i was wrong. you were texting someone else. then my mind went wild; i think you texted the girls you just knew or sth, then you didnt wanna reply me nor entertain my stupid unreasonable requests/stuffs.

sigh, i've no idea why for since wed i dont have much appetite to eat. ): didnt really finished dinner yesterday; no appetite. :/ sighhhhhhhh! sotong i miss you.

sigh. i miss you. ): hopefully whatever you've said its true.

2011-06-14T03:30:00.004+08:00

hello people. :D yesterday i went... study with kangling. overslept. rushed down to JE mrt. decided to go clementi mall instead. train-ed with her to clementi. had kfc.♥♥ walked around, bought notebooks for note-taking. went library. started with IMB risk assessment thingy. gave up. facebook-ed. did notes on chem. went off at 640pm to buy koi (chocolate milk tea.♥♥ thanks to wj aka sotong♥ & yw and clique ♥, i'm addicted to this hehehe :D ). mmm, then ate at EAT., then train-ed home.
maple-d awhile with sotong. level59, and went offline. just finish packing.

i decided to blog cause i rmb!! today is the 2nd month since we started texting each other, right sotong? ♥♥ two months ago its orientation uhhh! 2nd day of orientation! mmm. felt amazing! hahaha so 14 is a special date after all!

*interruption. this is for yw. hey girlfriend, firstly... HAPPY 1YEAR 4MONTHS ANNIVERSARY!♥♥♥♥♥♥ totally love you as always. (: we really need to catch up soon. thanks for reminding me that its our anniversary today~~♥ anw, thanks for telling me that you'd be telling me about your life asap. :/ man, i'm dying to know! i want to walk through this tough time with you!! i know the pain is tougher than i imagined, than i've experienced, but please dont forget that i'm here with you. you'll always have me, talk to me; i'm a sms away, or a few blocks away from you!! so accessible. hahahah. anw... stay strong girl. i know its not easy; having to keep yourself occupied in order not to think about anything else. i've tried that, i know how horrible the feeling is. a moment of silence/thinking time would be like hell. seriously, i know what you're experiencing, i mean the keeping yourself busy part. yeah, i agree distraction is the thing you need now. dont keep everything to yourself or just share with hoilee too okay?? share with me too :( been wanting to tell you lots!! seriously, like, in relationship (bgr, friendship) wise, you're the best person who understands me the most. understand what i'm going through, how i feel. i wouldnt care if i suddenly break down and cry infront of you. i mean, i'm serious hahaah. okay... so takecare of yourself in thailand okay? if you can skype... tell me. i'll figure out how to use it, then we can skype heheh. (: whatever, whenever you need me, i'll be there (perhaps not physically, but you get what i mean luh kay?). you're treasured and cherished MUCH!!♥♥♥.*

okay. sorry. hahaha. mmm. okay. sotong i hope you'll have fun in the SCL camp later okay? :) try to make new friends too!!♥. hmmm... i really hope i wont moodswing later or at night, cause i think i'm having moodswing now. ): sigh. imissyoutoo.♥ ahhhhh sucks when i need you and you're asleep ): sigh. nvm, i'll be fine by myself. its alright! dont emo when you see this please. i'll be fine after a rest. nights.♥

bye world, i hope i can wake up on time, and the next three days God will pull me through, let me know new people, make an impact on ppl's life, no matter how small it is. God go through this with me!!!!♥ nights!♥

PS. from patty's fb post: "When a girl says "I miss you", there's really no one else who misses you as much as she does." . somehow its true. at that moment when she said it at least.

2011-06-13T00:55:00.004+08:00

hello people. i really have no idea what to post. :O

okay nvm. today!! went out with cherynn honeyxzxzx to smu to study. sorry babe i was late :( ♥ man i hate me for always being late when going out with friends. :( with guys nvm cause they're born to wait for girls no matter how late they get. but... MY GIRLFRIENDS!!! important bunch of people. totally love the way me and cherynn just can share about things quite freely. we're like, oh-so-close in a way. hahahaha! thank God for her in my life. yeah you know, i'm grateful for all the God has placed in my life. ohman~~! hahah. :D mmm. yeah, we ate like ALOT today. ): sinful much; share hokkien mee and dumpling noodle, then after that study after our mini break, and went scape for flea & went 313 to eat long john silvers with KFC CHEESE♥♥♥♥ thats the love man! yeah! cheesey cheese!♥♥♥♥ alrights, should not be too obsessed with it ): fattening yo? oh anw. then walked from 313 to dhoby. totally love walking long distances with the people i'm totally comfortable with. hahahah. shared A LOT, the "scandals" happening in our lives. hahaha! her scandal, and my scandal. OMG O_O hahahha! i bet sooner or later my close friends will know who is... AHEM. yeah you know i know la okay? :D hahahhah. but ohwell, we shall see if this will come true not. one year later, everything will be revealed. mmm.

silly sotong has been dreaming about the scene whereby piglet & sotong kissed.♥ ohman!! that sotong gonna get addicted to it man!!! :// naughty boy lor he. and somehow, he's ABIT observant. tsktsk, cannot praise him too much if not his ego too high then sian liao. tsktsk!! hahaha. mmm perhaps we all should have self control. must not let this become a habit in our lives, NO! ): i dont want a relationship that is just based on physical stuffs. no, i'd prefer mentally, emotionally together-ness. haha... :/ NO BAD HABITS LIKE THIS FORMING, GET IT SOTONG?!?! sigh, i suppose we really shouldn't rush things. but.. somehow there's this... special (?) feeling when we kissed hahaa. :/ maybe its because he's my classmate too? :O mmm ohwell, i'm not sure.

okay byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.♥♥♥♥♥ lazy post. heheheh. nights, shall go shower then maple? hopefully ): nights, sweet dreams.♥

PS. you know i'm secretly hoping that you wont be a flirt anymore; that you'll not waver, so that my confidence in loving and trusting someone can be found once again. i know i'm selfish, eeeks. :( sigh, i wish i wont secretly wish for this due to my own selfish gains, but... i'm really hoping that you'd be the one who'd break my barrier of being afraid to love, and love someone deeply once again. sigh imma selfish galxzxz. ): but... ARGH ): how to stop feeling this way? but i suppose w/o this, i'll never get to trust you and believe that there's a possibility between us that it'll last. *confused, and suddenly upset*

2011-06-10T21:50:00.004+08:00

hi people. been very tired these few days. not enough sleep again. sigh. :(

okay, let me talk about... THIS.

you know why i hesitate at first? firstly, i dont want to rush things. cause i know rushing things will make me more insecure about this relationship that it wont work out. secondly, i'm afraid that you'll regret about your decision. i didnt want to let you give your first kiss to just anyone; should be the dream girl that you want to be with for the rest of your life. i dont want you to regret just like i did. regret everything in the past (sort of, but i never regretted having a r/s, cause it taught me alot). yeah... sigh. also, thirdly i'm afraid that i cant bear this responsibility of taking care of your heart. i dont trust myself in such stuffs, somehow. :/ i dont want anyone to be hurt so much bcos of me. it'll be VERY TOUGH for you. :( i think its the first time i'm so worried and concerned about whether i break someone's heart or not (ever since me and r break ==). yeahs... sigh.. because, the feeling sucks. argh.
somehow, idk why i'm afraid that we'll drift. this is so weird but...

hahahah, and i suppose you'll rmb this date? 1oo611? :/ will you? :/ i wonder how did you feel when you kissed for the first time o_o ♥ meow.

i hope you wont waver too. you must be prepared that i will doubt you like dk how many times, esp when i'm feeling negative. but i pray that throughout all these doubt i doubted you with, your love for me will still stay strong. because i think by that time... if you ever give up on me, i will regret, seriously. sometimes i might take things/people for granted, i might seem like idc, i might be stubborn, wilful, throw temper, pms, push you away etc... but... actually i care, cherish the r/s much, pushed you away many times just to see how many times are you willing to still hold on to me, hold me close to you and never let me go. sorry but i think i'm gonna break your heart for many times for my hurting words and my temper. :( sigh.

mmm, for the church that side... dont worry too much. i will work it out. if we ever get together.♥ mmmm, i agree its abit the troublesome.. but me being in a r/s shall not make me compromise my ministry and God's kingdom! shall continue to serve and let God's light shine throughout. (: i believe with God, i can show others that it doesnt mean that when you're in a r/s, the person's spiritual life is cui. i want to be the few which has rather strong walk with God!! :D depending on Him for everything!!♥♥♥♥ okay. :)

tears. sigh. :O

okay. should go shower now. cyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.♥

2011-06-09T00:50:00.002+08:00

hello people. haha. super lazy to update. very busy these days. sigh. common tests coming. no confidence. i'm afraid that i wont do my work during the holidays. sigh. ): study... cell bio human bio chem and math. very afraid for ALL four. esp math, and cell bio. abit of human bio. for chem, its... complacency. sigh. :( i shall go. byeeeeeeeeeee. :)

PS. hopefully you wont treat this r/s lightly. i need to start putting more faith in you. shall pray about this. :O hmmm.. i think after one year, if things stay the same and like, nothing goes wrong between us, i suppose we'd be together, and by then... i'd have faith in you, at least abit. perhaps i'll still be afraid, even more afraid of losing you, cause by then, i'd be kinda dependent on you. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

cant wait to see you later!! omgomg :D nights people, will go do chem now. :)

2011-06-07T01:21:00.003+08:00

hello people. firstly, i havent been sleeping enough these few days. sigh. :( it suck. somehow i'm looking forward to IMB lesson later. hahaha william how is funny!! :D *giggles*

totally love the time i spent with fishy just now!! omgomg. she gave me a lovely present. :D belated birthday present. teehee. hopefully xinyi will be the one of the few, and i think the best-est (?, not sure yoxzxzx,) but the longest, best friend i've ever had. so cherish the f/s between us. i hope it'll NEVER end! :D:D seriously love you!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥^^

now... i'm STRESSED, DEPRESSED, and... idk. feel like crying? but no... cause abit the no tears leh. sigh, need to sleep early. almost forgot tmr morning class.
argh. whatever. STOP PROCRASTINATING JANICE HO HUI YING!!!! time to start on chem. :/ kkthxbai. (:

PS. how i wish things would be that simple. if only in the future, if we get together, our love can overcome every obstacle that's in our way, holding onto each other tighter, and cherishing the r/s between each other more and more. how i wish things were that simple. dont have to think so much. sigh :( hopefully you'll always be there when i need you (but sometimes unfortunately you're asleep!! :( like now. geez.). sigh. time will tell. meow~

nights, and bye.♥

2011-06-05T01:40:00.003+08:00

hello people. first things first, i wanna apologise, esp to sotong, for all my mood swings. :/ mmm. 2nd, i feel stupid. seriously stupid. i havent done my math, chem report, cell&human bio report... then have lots of things coming up. onoz. damn stress. during the holidays i MUST make it a point to study. bahhhhhhhhh. oh yeah, i'm damn looking forward to the SCL camp! :D hopefully i join SCL Club :D hohoho, i want to serve in there too!!! :D oh well, anw... hopefully we get to sleep in a nice place, and i dont sing when i sleep like i did in p5 :/ omgxzxzx thats just SO EMBARRASSING. like imagine next morning you wake up people tell you eh why you sing in your sleep. rofl... oh anws, i hope if there's groupings, i'll be in same group as at least one of my classmates!! :/ omg! :3 geez. time to make new friends!! :DDD

oh well gonna do reports now. shall start with perhaps, cell bio? but i'm hungry too :3 goshed. alrights byeeeee.♥

hehehe it seems like there's still alot idk about you eh? :x you sleep talk? :OOO hehehe interesting, i'd like to hear what you talk about. :D anw, how sure are you that you'll not waver in the years to come? that in the future, if i ever break your heart, reject you dk how many times, be mad at you, attitude you, blame you for everything, throw temper & tantrums at you for no reason, moodswing again etc... you'll still hold me tightly, be there with me through it all, not giving up on me though its tiring and i'm difficult to handle, be patient with my questions and doubts etc.. nobody has ever done that to me before. though i've seen of people who're like that, but it has never, unfortunately, happened on me before. seriously, i think that... if you can ever do that, then you dont have to worry about losing me. oh well... we'll see. :/ sleep well, dont miss me too much. :) ♥

2011-06-02T00:20:00.002+08:00

hi. i feel like a piece of shit now. today was so-so. still survivable. i've no idea why my mood changed so drastically. i need a hug RIGHT NOW, BADLY. ): too bad, nobody's with me. thus, i gotta survive on my own. whatever. someone please enlighten me; is it due to my lack of sleep for the past ______ nights? :o i've lost count on how many nights. sigh. every night when i'm awaking doing work, i've nobody to talk to! ): it stinks shit. when you need someone desperately, nobody's there. when in the morning you're much better, there's actually people who ask when everything's over. sigh. where are those people who can sleep late?!

okay bye.

2011-06-01T01:03:00.003+08:00

hello people! its june, FINALLY. woah, i'm jealous that jc people are having holidays ): ahhh nvm get over it! :3 anw... idk, suddenly my mood is very good now. hehe. like, i'm rather happy. or rather, i feel that something good's gonna come my way? wooo nevertheless, PRAISE GOD! :D
oh, one thing; finally! i'm gonna get a chance to serve in the core team of nyp together with the rest! meaning.. i can serve God more and to greater heights! (i think thats what the whole thing's all about??) heheheh. i'm happy! though i think i'll feel super inferior la walao. all the spiritually older people are there :( i mean like more spiritual ones :3 ahhhhh :/ God help me, go through this with me man!!♥♥

heheh. yesterday dk why keep sneezing like nobody's business. ._. felt HORRIBLE okay ._. but... nevertheless, God pulled me through! :) so thankful! hopefully later in the day no more alr ):

ehhh, sorry for my attitudes and tempers for the past few days ): really dk why. must be pms ==" always liddat one. :/ sigh. thanks for being so understanding and not flaring up at me :/ i'm horrible right sotong? :/ sigh, i wonder how long can you tolerate this wilfulness of mine.
oh wells. hopefully june will be a much better month! okayyy i shall go do cell bio report :3 byeeeeeee♥.

2011-05-31T00:20:00.006+08:00

hello people. today sucks! i meant yesterday. super tired. sigh. hate it when i affect the people around me. like causing them to be sad when i'm upset. SML :(
very lazy to update what happened today. i think i know the reason i'm having moodswings these few days. argh. ): damn tired. should just faster do swnp and qt and sleep :( sigh. i guess i'll be able to sleep by 2?

alright nights. byeeee, i go do swnp. ):

edited- sigh, what happened between this friendship? :/ we used to be close and understand each other like very much, but i supposed after you knew her, she understands you more than i do, and hand i think i lost you as a true friend eh? one who understands how i feel. but i know you're having a rough time now. takecare bahs, and jiayous. the love between you and him is being tested right now. you two have been through so much, hang on okay? though i doubt you'll read my blog anymore, but.. if you need anyone anytime, find me yeah. hopefully you can share stuffs with me soon D: argh.

you know, i seriously suck in being a good friend, dont have to say girlf. ahhhhhhh. later if sotong and piglet really stead, and piglet aint a good girlf always piss sotong off, never think about his feelings etc, then how? :((
sigh. ): oh, and. if a guy would ever pause whatever game he's playing just to text you back, spend some quality time with you esp when you said you need him, do whatever you ask him to... he's rare and a good catch: JUST MARRY HIM. too bad; there's very very pathetic few of such guys who exists alr )):

argh. not in a good mood today; crying again ._. cannot take it alr.

2011-05-30T02:42:00.003+08:00

hello people. i had a great sunday! :D went out with sotong~ :D we went suntec for the asiasoft gaming festival thingy. :D sorry sotong for missing your the redemption thingy (whatever that is? :OOO ) mmm. went there to suntec, went in. got free stuffs ( :D ), played some games with sotong (actually is he play one, i just watch him play heheh :D ), went to redeem free stuffs again (and he got this star thingy! :O i'm jealous ): geez), then... went for lunchie, at astons. his first time eating! i hope you enjoyed it! :3 but... i feel guilty; i shouldnt help you get fatter!! for me you must lose weight, okay? xDD hmm, then went back there for a while. bought 120k in total (me sotong kangling and his bros (?) share de). i bought 40k, kangling 30k. the rest is weijun's one :D yayyy finally he can change hair!!! :P he'll become a super cute ttm char lor :P heheh. anw, yeah. after that sotong went home, kangling came. thank God for kangling, she so nice to make a trip down! omg! love her ttm!!♥♥♥♥ :D anw, stayed for the lucky draw, but didnt win stuff. caught a small mickey doll! :D thinking of something right now... mmm.

anw i gotta sleep soon. i've no idea what to do with my homework seriously ._. okay byeeeeeeeeeeee.♥ hopefully in the future we'll have chance to go out like this! so fun! :P esp the candy empire part hehehe.

2011-05-28T03:31:00.004+08:00

hi. short post here. very tired.

FIRST AND FOREMOST! I WANNA THANK GOD FOR BEING THERE FOR ME!! ^^ with God, there'll be miracles in life. i believe in that. because for the math quiz which i thought i'll fail, i passed! (: like on the dot, 10/20. really, at once i knew that it wasnt my work, but God's grace for me. God, i thank You for being so amazing in my life, all the unexpected stuffs! if it wasnt for You, God, i wont be able to pass my math quiz. :/ yay!♥

later sotong going msia. ): cannot text le damn sad. hais! ):

anw.. sotong paiseh eh, let you see my vulgar side :/ God i wanna repent, argh, stupid person. that weirdo on maple. ._. dont even get what he's talking about and he's jumping to conclusions. ==" seriously. sighs. my image is ruined! D: aiya i'm such a tomboy; who wants me sia. >_<

ohohs, silly sotong, dont be jealous okay? (: let fate and God decide if we're meant to be or not. if we're meant to be, no matter how long it takes, we'll still be together de. i'm just afraid that i cannot make a relationship last. i very scared luh, that like maybe one day you change your mind or my attitude prob make you cannot tolerate me le then end up we separate. worst still if its during exam/FYP/important periods!!! D: i very scared. ):

hmmm, if a love is irreplaceable, no matter how hard you try i still wont be moved de. so... i suppose my ex that one is the past alr. its just that i've brought along fears in relationships. sorry eh...

sotong i cant wait to go out with you on sunday!! hehehe kinda miss you :P shhhhh secret. hopefully we dont see church people. if not things will get nasty zzz. hehehehe byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.♥(:

2011-05-27T16:17:00.003+08:00

hello people. :D i'm bored. and hungry. currently having IMB lecture. currently craving for kfc, and their cheese. hohoho. perhaps i should have kfc for dinner? :O mmm.

anw.. i've no idea what to post. :o mmm, i'm hungry? yeah. and... i'm hungry? :O yeah HAHAHA ^^

anw, dont jealous luhh sotong, :/ mmm. just maple mahs >_< maple and rl got difference de worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ~~ chills kay. (:

meow. okay bye. nothing to post. :O

PS. I'M HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.♥

2011-05-26T03:40:00.002+08:00

hello people. nothing much to say. slept two hours the previous day. damn tired. have panda eyes alr. now gonna have headache soon~ ): argh. i really really wanna sleep. sighs. butbut, kinda miss sotong too :/ how how? ):

hmm perhaps we really shouldnt take things too far. you know, i think we're like kinda over the line alr, even when we're not couple. sigh idk. its kinda sweet but.. sigh. we shouldnt be like that. ): mehhhhhhhhhhhhhs. you said so that you dont wanna rush things, i also dont wish to. so... idk luh. hopefully whatever happens wont affect our current closeness now. kabish!

meow. i'm tired. gonna sleep soon. nightsnights. :D

PS. have more confidence in yourself luh. dont always so emo de. x_x i dont like emo kid. aiya who am i to tell you not to emo >_< oh wells, and anw.. for maple one hor, faster get some cash clothes/hair/face. about 35k will do luh! i help you choose nice nice de :D then confirm can make friends de. :3 hehehe. dont worry~ meow~
okay my shoulder aching like shit alr, night nights! :D sweet dreams, sleep well. tmr maybe can wake up play abit maple. haha. :P

2011-05-25T00:37:00.005+08:00

hello people! today was okay. i'm seriously screwed now. doing my cell biology ._. argh. okay short post!!!

(edited; added in) crap i just rmb; i screwed my chem practical. my conversion thingy, everything wrong sia!!! SML, somemore it has a very high weightage T_T walao its like, only few weeks into school and i just screwed my GPA. SCREW MY LIFE MAN SERIOUSLY. i want a time machine, can rewind back to before e-learning week start. i'll redo everything over again! give my best effort and not maple, not slack. T_T seriously la i'm so screwed, even for my best subject. then liddat, what am i good for? ._. feel so crap. some people are good in language, some people are good in mathematics (i think they kinda screwed their brains. no offence, seriously, but i dont know how could people be good in math.), some people are excellent in sciences, while others in arts and humanities. now, what am i good at? nothing much. language-not very, deprove liao. math-NEVER IN MY LIFE!!! SCREW MATH. science-i thought i was good at chemistry, and abit of biology. sigh. humanities-mmm, history? not very good, but still. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT SAY THAT, so... SCREW MY LIFE ._.
i'm STILL stuck at cell biology aiyooooooooo~~~ noob shit. nvm, janice ho hui ying, as a punishment for not being smart and doing well for chemistry, you dont get sleep tonight. i dont freaking care if you doze off or faint or die later; YOU DESERVE IT (@*$#@(#&*@(&(*@$# SML. i'm being mean to myself. ==

some thoughts which i thought of, about love.
after going through many obstacles, one of it being distance (apart from each other, i mean both physically and mentally etc), and you overcome it with that special someone many times, you know that you truly love that person. even distance cannot separate you guys, the feelings and passion never fades. so amazing.
also, you'll know it when you truly love a person deeply: its when no matter how many times he/she break your heart, push you away, reject you (as a boyf/girlf), made you angry, made you feel like giving up, made you feel exhausted (very very drained of energy), you'll still persevere on and keep on loving that person, no matter what he/she did to you. i want a love like this. i've seen a few cases, heartbreaking, but i always, never fail to envy that other party who's being loved. because at least they have this person who's crazy about them, never giving up despite circumstances, always there for them no matter how many freaking times he/she pushed you away.

i want a love like this. however, chances are, it's rare to encounter such love, because many people mistook like, puppy love, and true love. sigh. hope's bleak! ):

okay bye shall continue with cell bio. so sad. ):

PS. DAMN IT, ITS 2:40AM AND I'M STILL DOING MY CELL BIOLOGY REPORT. AND MY BELOVED MOUSEY BROKE DOWN ON ME. NOW SO HARD TO USE LA. zzz. SML! D:

2011-05-24T01:34:00.003+08:00

hello people. dead tired today. idk why. today only had gsm. practically "skipped" the whole gsm. damn tired now. still havent shower, thanks to chemistry the conversion stuffs. then i'm like... so tough. argh. SML. ==" oh well. i've got tuesdays blue. argh. i still have to do qt. seriously what time can i actually sleep? 3? ._. SML i've to wake up at 6. AHHHHHHHHH FORGET IT. ._. dont blame me if my temper sucks tmr. tyvm.

bye. lazy blog. no mood also. feel super sticky ttm.

ohwell, hahahha. i hope you can change for the better bahs. yeahhhs. vulgars are actually not that good for health yo. and when you scold others, it hurts ppl's feelings. yeahh... sotong, i understand how you feel between you & your parents, but do rmb they're your parents afterall. no matter how unreasonable they are... cherish them okay? dont wait till its too late then you regret. :/ yeah, seriously. (:
kayxzxzx. can see you soon. hopefully tuesday will be a better day.

nights world.

2011-05-23T01:54:00.004+08:00

hello people :D finally i know how to add my skills already!! ^^ woooo~~~ :))) sp reset scrolls ftw! :D ♥
woooooooooooo~ anw, today was okay. FINALLY finished my human biology report. left the graph. lazy do siol. ._. anw, played maple awhile. then went CUT HAIR.♥ then... went chinatown lan with weida and yw. weida & rachel got married in audi. hahaha. sigh, i think weida very poor thing sia. all the nice guys who're totally devoted to a girl, they're always taken for granted by the girl. ouch. or not... the other way round. ._. oh well, seriously i hope i wont be like that.. hmmm. the last thing i wanna do is to hurt anyone's heart cause of me, again. mmmm.

finally can go school soon~~ later! gonna see sotong, kangling and some of the rest! randal is getting addicted to maple even without playing. HAHAHA!! damn funny la he. okayokay, should sleep soon yo.

byeeeeeeeeee.♥ can see you soon alr yippeee!♥

2011-05-22T01:26:00.004+08:00

hello people! my name is janice. i feel like a small, cutexzxzxzxzxxzx ttm lil girl now! :D hehehe. ahhhh.
nvm i'm mad. i'm having weird cravings now. hhehehe.
still wondering if i should do work in school or sth on monday before school not. idk how to do msoft. sotong can you help me? :(

i'm damn worried for my work sia. its crap la. i cmi at math, cmi at whatever.... best is chem liao so far. but i havent revise a single crap since last week till now. ._.

nvm. lazy blog la!!! :((((((( hahah now everytime i see SNSD, the first person i'll think of is weijun. his NINE wifes. mind you, NINE wifes okay! i only got like, one husband, one fiance, and... one brother? :O hehehe. unlike SOMEONE, got nine wifes :P unfaithful siaaaaaa~~ jkjk hehehe. :)

okay bye. i NEED to start finishing up my biology report. byeeeee. nights.♥

PS. its 4.04am, and i'm missing you ): hopefully you've just fallen asleep and not phone kena confiscated again )))): oink.♥

2011-05-21T03:27:00.003+08:00

i seriously feel like an ass la. i shouldnt have done it. i shouldnt have asked you to reply me. sound so... idk, meanie, asshole or despo or whatever you want to describe with it. sigh. sorry. i really hope he returns you your phone soon.♥ cant imagine what would happen if he doesnt. D: yes, and i think i'll miss you terribly! ): judging on how much i miss you now. :/ ahhhhhhhhh, hate to admit it, but yes sotong i miss you.♥ nights. get some sleep. chills. sweet dreams, sorry i couldnt be there with you. ):

2011-05-21T00:05:00.003+08:00

hi people. today: went kfc for lunch with kangling, and cck library to study, wena came along, studied more (i did human bio report ._.), wena left, kangling and me went to eat at pontian, pei kangling buy gift for friend, and home sweet home.
no mood today. argh. just the nice time to feel moody and sleepy at the same time. ._.
finding an excuse to cry now. roarrrrrr. i want a hug, from whoever close to me also can. huggggggggggggggggggggggg! ): i wanna feel safe and warm ): boo. life sucks.

ah whatever i should continue with my human biology report. i'm screwed for monday. byeeee.

today not fun one ): booo.
i realised i'm starting to look forward to spending time with you, even receiving your msgs, i'll smile to myself. and i realised i gradually start waiting for your msg. i feel kinda silly. ahaha. oh well. lets see how things progress.

such a long wait today for your replies. tired; feel like sleeping.
but NO, janice you're NOT ALLOWED TO SLEEP! not until you completed all your work. >_<
argh, no, angel tells me to sleep bcos its good for health. argh nvm. WHATEVER OKAYS. ._. ohwell. bye. no mood blog~ PS. i'm stupid i know ._. and i so feel like eating now.

2011-05-19T19:46:00.005+08:00

hello people :D today was quite fun. went out with sotong. went nex to walkwalk. ate kfc. walked around. then saw weiting. hahaha suey much. oh well. what to do. saw alicia with her friend there too, heng never see me. hmmm. then after that went home soon.

dont let me be right: all the guys' favourite dating spot is some dark secluded places with the girl they like/love, just to get intimate with her. argh. seriously, where have the nice and pure and innocent guys gone? cant they just have a proper date with the girl they like just walking around side by side, anything and everything except getting intimate with her. seriously, ._. i'm sick and tired of seeing guys like that. what, carparks, void decks, some corner, even at home... to the hell with this type of guys. i hope you're not one of those who likes to do this. i dont wanna accept guys who does that all the time.
somehow i see abit of my ex's character in you. i hope i'm wrong, because i promised myself not to suffer again; i dont wanna date someone similar to him because i know i'll get hurt in the end. sorry for being so protective of myself. i dont want to end up protecting myself and my feelings at your expense. perhaps it may be unfair to you, but.. :/ argh.
ooooooooooooooooooh, andand, dont keep walking ahead of me suddenly. i feel so, left behind. you know, a feeling of abandoned. then when you suddenly walk off, seriously, i was soooooo tempted to just, "argh forget it, just walk off and perhaps go home". i told you before, i dont like the feeling of being abandoned/left behind. ahhhh nvm. i feel like a mean person. since i'm not even a good person, i dont have the right to expect a near-perfect you. sigh. my bad.

and lastly, i'm sorry for keep using my phone. i know to people of quality time its really crap >_< hmmm i'll try to use lesser. but i wont let anyone control my usage of phone. i wont succumb to anyone, perhaps except God. yeah.
ikr, i suck. sorry for being me. :/ and sorry, really sorry if my post make you emo/cry. :/ you can choose to ignore it bcos its just how i feel. dont have to take it to heart if you dont want to.

okay, screw my life when i've so many things undone. ._. seriously i need to start doing ._. kkthxbye. LOL. okay, for serious. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

PS. i think its so sweet when you kiss my cheek and attempt to hold me tight and not let me go. teeheee~ but.. argh. ):

2011-05-18T21:20:00.006+08:00

hello people. went pulau tekong today. was okay. thank God i didnt faint. gah. so sleepy now. had lg just now. ate jap food which was so salty i ended up didnt finish it. ._.

i super dammit feel like sleeping now... ):

i wonder how long can this sweetness last? you surprise me with little things you do. it always makes me smile.♥ totally appreciate for all the things you've done.♥ seriously, what have i done to deserve all these? i'm so mean to you, i always make you emo etc. and because of my words/actions, i'm not even confident will you persevere in showering your love for me. i'd love to know that there's actually someone who cares so much for me (except my mama and relatives, like just in a different way of care). someone whom thinks that you're veryvery important! argh. i'm just not confident of that, because i think everyone who've dealt with me grew weary and tired of my words/actions which sometimes deemed to be so hurting, but i mean no harm though... sigh, nvm.

hopefully i can sleep earlier tonight. byeeeeeeeeee.♥

2011-05-17T23:10:00.006+08:00

hello people. today woke up at 3plus. late for shepherding. shepherding nothing much, just talk talk about life. then nyp meet. quite fun actually (:
hahah silly sotong~ tmr we're going to pulau tekong. i hope i dont faint of heatstroke or sth. argh. hopefully there'll still be peace in class. and i hope tmr will be fun!! :)) hmmm, cya tmr sotong~ :P i know you miss me. :3 hahahah :D

nights.♥

prayer does miracles, even to overcoming temptations. so i suppose we both should pray more eh :3 temptation to food. ): argh.
food makes me alive.♥

"a boy gives a girl 10 roses, 9 real and 1 fake. and he says to her: i'll love you until the last rose dies." - man, i want this guy, PROVIDED HE MEANS IT. :/ so sweet.♥
however so far in reality, MOST guys are like this... :
"Boys should come with a warning label. Caution: I will flirt with you. text 24/7.lead you on.tell you i love you.then ill totally ignore you. flirt with a whore. break your heart and never talk to you again.". how sad ): PS. i didnt say ALL okay, there're still nice guys out there, i believe. but they're usually not meant for me ): sigh.
okay byeeeeeeeee nights its 333am ._.♥

2011-05-17T02:10:00.004+08:00

i'm sorry sotong, for making you tear. i feel so... weak ): i must learn to put more faith and trust you gradually. ouch i think i suck for making you tear because of me. :/ though others say its good when a guy tear for you cause it meant that you mean something to him... mmm, cheer up. i'll be fine.♥ and, thanks so much for listening to me.♥
and i teared too,♥

2011-05-16T23:32:00.006+08:00

hello people :D had fun today! :D spent my late morning/afternoon with my SWnP group ppl: kangling wena kaihui and randal! :D we discussed abit, lunch, and discussed abit more... then we did our own stuffs (mainly e-learning stuff) :D this week is the e-learning week. hehehe. no school, so shiok. OH YEAH, met adeline on train to cck library, so cool :)
anw, met sotong after that. went vivo. hehehe. dk what to do mah, so we watched movie. Priest :D saw xintian @ gv there, heng sotong and piglet not holding hands, if not sure spread and they'll flood me with questions ._. anw... hahah watched movie. abit gore, the show. kinda scary. held sotong's hand tight tight. :/ hehehe. (: oh did i mentioned that we shared fried rice before going for movie? haha! anw, after movie, we walked around... and then went home. :D

eh stupid sotong! hug me until so tight! tsktsk, told you liao we not couple then we like hold hands and hug abit the weird. >.< idk leh... like. i'm afraid later we "rush" into things.. at first say hold hands, then now hug (AND! i was shocked by your peck on my cheek! sweet though hehehe ^_^ but... no cannot, too fast liao x.x). how? i'm afraid we go faster than supposed to. :/ hehe and thanks for saying that, you make sure that you're there with me whenever i'm afraid of sth okay! perhaps i wont say anything, but just a squeezing of hand says it all kkayyyys. :3 mmm, anw... you ah, so next time even in school i try to run away you'll hug me infront of everyone meh. LOL ._. hahahah dont worry i wont run away unless you mistreat me. heheh >:) mmm but seriously i'm afraid now; afraid that things will go too fast and hence end up backfire. so... we'll try to stick to JUST holding hands (whenever applicable :P ) okay? mmmm. yeps. (: thanks for everything so far~ looking forward to more time spent with you :D

hmmmm are you sure you're gonna reject all other nicer and prettier and more awesome girls just for me? :/ so hard to resist a temptation for someone better, much better than me in every area. dont you agree? :/ sigh. :(

argh, why is the starting of a courtship sooooo sweet! and always, the first 3 months of a new budding relationship is always that sweet. we call it the honeymoon period. but after that, problems come in, and hence that's when the relationship will be severely tested. dk why, the opposite party always gives up on the relationship first, not me (or whoever's in my shoes). geez. seriously, if i think the relationship is worth it i'll give my best. the world's filled with "if only"s and empty promises. argh. how many of the promises someone made will stay true for a long long time? i wonder. afraid. uncertain... i wonder how sure can one be when it comes to showing that she's the only one for him. :/ argh. stupid me, so late liao still emo.
sorry if i make you upset over me and my uncertainty and lack of faith and trust in you. :( sorry, it just takes time. a rather long time to be exact. i'm sorry if you'd feel tired of "explaining" to me. i suppose words dont quite work on me (okay fine maybe abit, but... i'm afraid to trust). actions will speak louder. (:♥

tmr got shepherding and unit meet. sian ttm. looking forward to wed for class outing. byeeeee.♥

2011-05-15T22:56:00.004+08:00

hello people! today... i slept my morning/afternoon away! re-downloaded maple and started playing. played with weijun :D haha! iPIGGYYx3 & iSOTONGGx3 :D cute people! hahahah! ♥ (: mmm eugenia joined in after that haha. damn cute ttm :D
i miss those days whereby i dont have to worry about anything. carefree days. where minds, relationships, hearts etc was much simpler. gah.♥

going out tmr for SWnP project. sian ttm. gonna be at cck ._. God i pray that wherever i go i'll do some productive studying. Amen. :/

walao i seriously hate last min stuffs la like whats wrong with you man seriously ._. nvm i suppose when you've church commitments, this is one thing nobody can avoid. or else shepherds will come after you. ._.

2011-05-15T01:30:00.006+08:00

hello i'm back :D
today was okay la. service&sermon was awesome! learnt about our value in God. hehehe :) and building meaningful r/s not based on motives :D after that was prayer meet.
hmmm. if you dont respect the planner's decision when you told her to decide on a place for meals, then why bother asking her to plan the venue for meals? i dont get it. if you think due to time constrain this week cannot, then tell her in advance and let her plan next week. dude, get it? ._.
nvm :)

walao you're asleep!! damn it. :(((((((((((((( sotong i miss you! why you so fast sleep de!!! ): ppl ask you out you go sleep. YOU GOOD! >:( hmph. sad. now i'm alone, seriously bored to death. kaboom!

i hope we'll take things slowly and even after we're together (if we will be?), we'll still take things slowly. hehe.
i'm slowly starting to miss you alr, is this just as a friend or more than that? i wonder. but i can be sure that it's not love, yet.

if i ever met someone whom i'll fall crazily in love with, and he loves me 100% more than i do, who'll successfully tear down most of my guards and shields about love and its hurts, and believe in guys again, who'll stay faithful to me, not look at other girls; only me in his eyes, who's also my bestfriend, whom i can share life easily with. who'll protect me with all he has. listens to me, stay by me, hold me when i break down, be there for me whenever whatever. have much patience & tolerance with me. accepts me for who i am, embrace my flaws, and only sees my strengths, dont quarrel and argue back with me with whatever i said (though i'll do that, BUT NEVER DO THAT TO A GIRL!) and many more... hmm if i'd ever meet someone like this, we'd stay together for veryvery long and perhaps end up getting married :D ♥

okay bye shall emo with my mushroom soup and bread. :( waaaaaaaaaaa.

"a boy who will hold his girlfriend around the waist and kiss her neck and whisper in her ear ''you're beautifull''. if his freinds say something nasty about her he will flip. text her first. tell her every night he loves her. texts her good morning beautiful. makes the effort. not flirt with other girls. compliment everything about her. if she wants a hug, hush up and hold her like she is gold."- woah i want a boyf like this.♥

2011-05-14T01:29:00.003+08:00

hello lovelys.♥ do you miss me? oh ofcourse you do. teehee.♥
today was alright, hahaha one regret today: never bring lappy. hahaha. but my bag will be lighter la :P hehe. hmm.
went movie (beastly) with sotong. hahahaha! he damn sad cannot get couple seat :P too bad laaaa. we also not couple :P hahaha! :P i made an interesting yet untrue discovery today: my hair actually smells nice, even when its oily like wth ._. hahahaha. and wait. one more discovery! sotong is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy smarter now! gosh! *replays the catching scene: catch me & pull me close* HAHAAHA. YOU! CUNNING! :x i tio shocked sia. :/ somehow its rather dangerous cause around that area may have alot ppl i know, esp church ppl. they're the last bunch of ppl you'd wanna see when you're alone with a guy, and esp when there's sth going on between both of you. :/ oh well... hopefully i wont ): i dont wanna see them. later we hold hands halfway they see then GG x.x they'll get the wrong idea manxzxz. geez. oh well. ~

hehe, lets hope for miracles to happen that we'll be madly in love with each other (serious case ofcourse), and that we'll take this r/s very seriously, and that whatever obstacles we may face in the future, we'll tackle it together. we're here to help each other grow too. heheh. well, if miracles do happen...

okay lazy type anything more. hahaha sotong jiayou in keeping your devil in control hor! :P byes.♥

2011-05-13T02:36:00.000+08:00

okayyyyyyyy just add-ons to previous post. hahahaha. some quotes i saw :D

"I just get scared that you'll find some pretty girl,
fall for her charmful lies,
and forget that I'm the one standing with my heart in my hands,
willing to give you everything I have."
"Every girl's dream guy... would save her texts just to look at when he misses her; let her wear his oversized jacket when she's cold; sit with her on the beach while watching the sunset; call her 3 o'clock in the morning just to hear her voice;tell her she's beautiful when she just woke up; kiss her in the pouring rain; tell her she's his everything; watch her every move and smile about it; wipe her tears away, hold her tight and never let her go;brag to his friends that someone like her would love him; tease her,but let her tease back; pretend to sleep only to let her kiss him goodnight; hold her hand at the randomest times; hug her tight when she's scared; come up from behind her, wrap his arms around her waist and softly whisper in her ear." - totally love this :D
"The problem with guys is, they pretend to like you when they don't.
The problem with girls is, they pretend they don't like you when they do.♥" yeah perhaps? O_O
"Not all guys want sex, because some of us want a relationship. Not all guys like Black Ops, because loving you is more fun. Not all men will hurt you, because some men are decent people. Not all men will abuse you, because some men like to see you smile. However, all those guys are gay." - i agree.
"I run through the door,
collapse on my bed why am I letting this get to my head?
I used to be happy and have a true smile
things haven't been that way for a while.
I'm sick of this pain, I want it to end.
see this smile? it's just pretend." :(
"Yes...
I'm a girl
I push doors that clearly say PULL
I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.
I walk into a room and [forget] why I was there
I count on my fingers in math class
I try to accomplish things with time still on the microwave
I Lie Sometimes to hide the pain
I say its a long story when it's really not
I fall in love too hard too fast" - thats true.

okay sleep. nights xoxo.♥

2011-05-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

hello peepz. imma back. i think God blessed me alot. while others were rushing their human biology report, i was there trying my best to figure out what song should i take for praise as i was leading praise for lg. was so damn afraid, first time yeah. then like argh, very the what x.x hahaha... though i didnt really prepare much (just mainly listened to it), but God still blessed me much :) hehehe. :) and greatest blessing is that the deadline of the human biology report is week6, which is next next week. hehehe :) God is great, amen? :D

oh and i wanna add something. i realised MB1104 is starting to form cliques. if only "cliques" dont exist. its very obvious, and to me, its saddening. the perfect image of a perfect class is gone. i suppose its just life. but i dont wish for things to be this way... sigh. this sucks. gah.

okay, then... today nothing special la. i think? learnt new stuffs in chemistry. shells, subshells and orbitals, screw you. tyvm. but still, i'll give my best in chemistry. i will persevere, just like how i did in upper sec.

hahahah, tmr's friday. going movie with sotong. hahahah :P and he is craving (sounds weird but...) to hold my hand. hahaha. he once said he'll hold it tight and will never let it go. haha we shall see if its true or not, in time to come. i dare you to make it true, for eon years. ehhehehe. well. its true that i dont believe in the positive stuffs in a relationship (bgr), because i've been through some real rough stuffs. heheh.. and we shall see how long your perseverance will last. HEHEHEHE.

okay here's some random stuffs and quotes which speaks my thoughts and feelings:
an advice for guys, never let a girl think that they've a chance with you when you yourself know they don't stand a chance with you.
sometimes i really wish that i'd know what a guy is thinking. its so damn hard to guess their thoughts, and after awhile, it'll become tiring.
dear guys, physical touch AINT everything, especially when it comes to a relationship (bgr). not all girls like excessive physical touch, even when it comes to your own girlfriend. so guys, have a limit, because we do have ours, and for your own safety, don't cross it. it doesn't mean that when a guy and girl are couples, guy, you'll have the "privilege" to do whatever you want to the girl. some girls don't say what they think or feel about a matter, so don't treat it like silence is consent. hence, KNOW YOUR LIMITS BOY. :) xoxo, girls.

okay bye. :) nights. shall do math.

2011-05-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

hello people. today was quite amazing. heehee. :P but very tired at the same time... gahhhhhh. :(
anw, hmm... you! okay... grats that you got to apologise to her kays :D glad things are over. haha. you click very well with the girls i realised o_o hehehehe. :P hahaha later i *jealous*. :3 jk~ hmm.. temptations. first, i wanna thank you for being honest with me... but i'm curious, you always struggle with this type of temptations de uh? O_O you say until like you've hurt another person before with this temptation of yours x.x nah, please be honest with me. i promise not to judge you. whatever you're struggling with, i wanna be the one helping you to overcome it. i try my best to help you with this area. is either you run away from the temptation, or do your best to overcome it. overcoming the temptation is the greatest battle won. it'll be difficult, but i know you can do it. yeah, and me myself dont wanna rush things either. cause you know, i'm scared. oh well... hmm. text me to tell me the answers kay, if you think blog too public. haha.. (:

ohhhhhhhhh and, your hand's super warm!!! i like it.♥ hehe. i like the feeling of us holding hands. whenever we hold hands yours will always be the warmer one. then today at library, i was damn cold, but when you held my hand, i felt the warmth like immediately! hahahah cute much. hehe. honestly i'm still shy holding hands with you. heheheh. :x

okay. gtg. have a report and a tutorial to complete BY TONIGHT. ._. nights. (:
hmm somehow sometimes i think this is true; absence makes a heart grow fonder. random though hahahha~! :)♥

lots of fave quotes :D
"protect her, fight for her, kiss her, love her, hold her, laugh with her. but dont make her fall, if you dont plan to catch her."
"treat your girl well, or else other guys will."
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater, Give her sperm, she will give you a baby. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is giving. So if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of Shit."
"Not all guys want sex, because some of us want a relationship. Not all guys like Black Ops, because loving you is more fun. Not all men will hurt you, because some men are decent people. Not all men will abuse you, because some men like to see you smile. However, all those guys are gay."-this is, so far, very true. O_O actually all are true luh.
"Girls are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them,when,in reality,they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."
"Girls: it's funny how guys try to convince us that they are different, because honestly, the only different i see... >> are their names" - damn joke!! LOL.

okay time to do report.

2011-05-11T02:26:00.003+08:00

hehe. i'm a happy kid suddenly, idk how long ago. :D weird but yeah, receiving your text makes me happy :D just like how i smiled like a dumbass just now when i thought you were asleep. hahahah. thank God for you :D heehee. i hope later you'll have the courage to apologise to her face to face. seriously, if you can do that, you're one of the rare few who'll have the COURAGE to apologise to a girl when they're in the wrong. :x hard to find not-so-ego/prideful guys alr :3 dont be scared, i'm with you :D cheer up also. so now, faster go sleep kay!! :) nights, sweet dreams. jiayou you can do it. i choose to believe you can do it. :D

2011-05-10T19:13:00.004+08:00

i think i seriously suck at solving problems between people. and yet now, when you need someone to talk to the most, i'm not with you. damn it. i seriously suck. hate myself for being myself. the attitude problem monster. GAH!!!!
whatever happened today, i wont go into details. whatever.

i'm sorry i was too concerned with myself and neglected your feelings.
i'm sorry for being such a lousy person (for now, goodfriend??) for not being able to stay by you and be there for you at times like this.
i'm sorry for "flaring up", showing some attitude.
i'm sorry for not being understanding enough towards you and perhaps everyone else.
i'm seriously sorry cause i really think i suck as a girlfriend, if we are gonna be together next year. for that, i'm sorry i dont make the perfect girlf who's understanding and tolerant everytime.

i feel bad for not being able to say anything comforting or listen to you now. but if you wanna tell me anything, just to let you know, i'll be there.♥

and no, you're not a weakling. i believe you can do it.♥

2011-05-10T02:55:00.004+08:00

just random post.
this is weird, but i kinda miss you. yes sotong you. you've kinda seen how not so serious my attitude problem can get. i seriously wonder if you're able to take it or not. because to my knowledge not many people can do it. will you be one of those who can take it and not use this issue to point finger at me if we ever argue one day? even if you have to, gently correct me. tell me how you feel. i need to fill myself with more guilt before i continue to hurt anyone with my attitude problem and bad temper.

i'm sorry i'm not your perfect type of girl, let alone be a perfect girlf to you in the future, if we're meant to be. i've been trying to change this, at least keep it under control. i'm trying my best. perhaps nobody sees my effort, but yes i'm trying.

gotta sleep soon.

*how great it'd get if there's someone who only sees you in their eyes. who looks at you like you're the first and last girl they're looking for. that no matter what your weaknesses are, you're perfect in their eyes. they accept you wholeheartedly for who you are, embraces your weaknesses. when you're feeling upset, or vulnerable, and crying, they'll either lend you their shoulder, or hug you tightly, assuring you that you're not alone in this. and stay silently by your side, wiping your tears away. everytime when you screw things up, you dont have to worry cause they'll be there for you, EVERY SINGLE TIME. when they say they'll be there for you, they meant that even 10 years down the road, they'll still be there. never a change of heart.
but apparently... i dont realise anyone like this before, ever. if only miracles happen, and that you're that one who is. well, who can be sure that they'll be there by your side through ups and downs? nobody i suppose. you'll never know when someone decides to change a pathway and leave your life. can never predict the future.... :( sigh. :(
need to sleep.

2011-05-09T22:05:00.004+08:00

helloooo people. today wasnt very good. attitude and temper not kept in check. seriously epic sian. ._.
okay. here's the main thing.
i've got human bio pract, chem tutorial stuffs, math tutorial stuffs (and math quiz) etc etc many more to complete. tonight my main focus is human bio practical. you see, how is it possible to finish a report, and also you know lg's on wed. so... i've been assigned the role of praise lead. though this has been a dream of mine since 1000000years ago. but, this time, i dont have enough time to finish everything you know. need to decide on the praise song tonight. i suppose tmr or wed i still have to take some time out to practise with cj, unless i do accapella. but for what songs? :( i really really have no idea. damn it. the day is ending soon. and i'm definitely rather sleepy. someone just kill me la. poly's getting tougher. if not for the people there, i dont think i'd even go school tmr. yawn. seriously damn sleepy, yet i'm not allowed to sleep tonight. worse of all, my classmates are like damn chiong, like i'm serious damn chiong. today give report few hours later start doing alr. some even finished the entire sem's math. such stress, might backfire on me. i thought i would face such class again, but then again i'm wrong. my class is DAMN COMPETITIVE. some are FREAKING GOOD IN MATH like you've NO IDEA how they do it, some are pure bio students who memorise almost everything etc... and lastly, which applies to almost everyone in my class, the super uber hardworking type who studies and revise everyday. gimme a break. i hate it. life sucks.

okay its not me today but... today's definitely NOT my day. damn it why do i feel like crying zzz. bye.

i'm sorry for all the tantrums i threw today. i'm really sorry for my attitude. dk why i just cant control it. argh. i really dont mean to hurt you, if i did, i'm really sorry. thanks for being there for me when i need someone to be there. perhaps i'm not there when you needed me the most. sorry. i know i'm so not worth it for your love and your tolerance, and your sweetness to me. totally appreciate it.
seriously screw my attitude problem and bad temper. ._.

2011-05-08T16:37:00.003+08:00

damn hot man the weather. kill me please =.= argh. its 35 degrees la. even my fan dont work in such weather. sometimes i wish i had aircon. sigh. today is mother's day. wanna wish my mama happy mothers' day. i'm sorry for all the tantrums i've thrown, all the attitude i've given you. i'm sorry. i know its been very hard for you to cope these two years. i'm sorry for not being able to help you much. all i can do is do well in my studies and not letting you worry about my studies and future. hopefully i'd be able to provide you with a good life in the future. thanks for all you've done for me, you're the best mama i could ever ask for. stay strong, and last thing. i love you.♥

hahahah type this also will cry. how weak can i get. :/ argh.
okay i need to fight procrastination, i shall shower now (after this episode of fated to love you).

i hope i can hold your word to it, that you'll make my wait for you worthwhile.♥

2011-05-08T01:57:00.005+08:00

hello people. currently listening to the GE 2011 results from the room. my mama is excited! hahahah. holland bukit timah, PAP! dr. vivian (however his name is spelt). hhehehhehe i like him. feels that he's warm to ppl. (during the bursary taking ceremony de). hahahhaha!
okay updating my blog, just for you, sotong! tsktsk. honoured okay! :P
heheheh somehow is anticipating what will happen between us in the future, in the following 3/4 of a year. hopefully things will turn out well for you, can change yourself, and this relationship (not bgr, yet) can slowly progress. hehehe. i'm anticipating your actions, the things you gonna do to gradually melt my heart and its genuine, from the bottom of your heart. yay i wanna see you persevere. but if you want to give up over a period of time someday, tell me gently, at least i wont cry out loud or sth. cause by that time, i'd most prob have fallen for you. argh.
hahahah and you're so sweet to me, never fail to make me smile whenever i read your posts.~ hehehe. silly sotong :P we'll see what happens 6months later first, before looking at what happens one year later... :x

oh and i realised! you cant just hold the relationship close for just half a year leh. does that mean that after half a year you'll not bother anymore? :( if there's even a "forever", hold it for that long, i know its tiring, but i'm here with you! *waves* hehehehe :3 *shy*

xoxo, me.♥
PS. you're foolish too! :P not only me okay.♥

2011-05-07T03:52:00.005+08:00

this is random, but i kinda miss you, and feel like watching movie with you now o_o yes you, sotong. drats, forget it, should sleep now. need to do some revision later. nights.

hahahaha silly sotong is worried about me :P i'm honoured, but sorry for making you worried D: argh. ):

2011-05-06T21:21:00.004+08:00

hello ppl! today was quite fun! hahahha walao i kena disturbed and teased by jillynn julyn wendi etc etc. they ask me questions like police ask criminal liddat. GAH! :P hahahahha. cell bio lecturer is horrible cause first, she speaks too soft. second, she dont speak clearly. third, she teach too fast (bullet train ._.). fourth, i catch no ball.
math tutorial was okay, got super distracted by the people talking about kpop. and somewhere in the middle i heard my name. then weijun's name. then what your boy your girl one. LOL. wth luh. they liddat tease i will shy one leh. LOL JK :) hahhaha.

nothing much to post. lazy type so much also. bye :)
its friday :D

i think i'm starting to like you. i think? perhaps? not sure. still trying to confirm. argh. i make it sound like some scientific research thingy. O_O but if you'll put in effort in maintaining, i'll put in effort too. haha though i dont see why i'm worth your everything. :/ wheeeeeeee.♥
"this type of things cannot rush one..." :D my answer to julyn and the curious bunch of people. hahahaha!

2011-05-06T02:28:00.004+08:00

hello. yesterday was great! though its like the chem day. ohwell. nvm. :) haha today in lecture, kangling keep laughing at the lecturer. HAHAHAH TOO FUNNY ALR! goshed. :P during tutorial, took a wrong seat and sat behind with kangling. sian, heard all sorts of stuffs. mostly filled with anger and hatred. boy, what has our class done to deserve so much of unkind words from you? we didnt even say much and you start talking to ppl with such an attitude? what, stoop to our level to get along with us? you kidding me? dont think you're older than most of us by 1 year then you can be so cocky. think you're very mature? think again. boy, you're wrong. geez, i thought my class was perfect. oh well. lets pray for peace in my class. no fights will break out. argh, look on the bright side of life. i suppose whatever ppl said is true. girls are mentally and emotionally more mature than a guy of the same age by 2-3years. tsktsk, pity him. man why do i sound so bad? the rest of the guys in MB1104 are rather nice people, and perhaps more mature than him. sorry there's lots of "scolding" and "judging" here. i'm not supposed to judge but... argh! NO JANICE, YOU'RE TO LEARN TO ACCEPT AND LOVE PEOPLE! so hard to love. oh well. TRY TO. anw after that, dinner with weijun @ amk hub mos burger. hahaha he's getting smarter sia. LOL. guys who wanna learn the different ways you can hold a girl's hand can ask him. heheheh.

need to sleep. NOW! so late le. tired sia. nights world.♥

define love. there's lots of definition to it. one of mine is accepting the person for who he/she is, and not picking on his/her flaws every single time when things happen. oh well. many more. relationships are just so complicated. its near impossible to find such a perfect guy firstly being so faithful and loves you for who you are, plus, he's CRAZY about you, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, even your flaws. its so wonderful. awww. it'd be sorta crazy if you could persevere, bcos i know by that time (i think.), i'd have fallen deep for you. i suppose. if we continue being so close, and you gradually show me that you can be trusted and i can rely on you.
so far i'm happy spending time with you. hehe. i suppose its just the beginning. when quarrels and more nasty things start coming in, will you still be there for me, even though i might show my vulnerable and nasty side? afraid to fall in love because afraid of heartbroken-ness. ouch. i never wanna experience what i experienced 2years plus ago. never. if no one's gonna protect me, i must, and will protect myself.♥
happybutafraid;andthe"whatifs"monsterisoutagain.
"if you're afraid then just squeeze my hands tightly.".♥

2011-05-05T00:18:00.004+08:00

hello ppl. tmr's gonna be a boring day. bahbahblacksheep. okay nothing much to post.

can you reassure me every now and then that you'll be there for me, and that you'll never change, your feelings will be the same or even deeper for me. bcos i'm simply afraid. yes afraid, again. imma timid lil girl. reassure with your actions. no i'm sick of words. sometimes words mean nothing much to me, not unless till a person shows it, or proves it. argh, i'm sucha horrible and troublesome girl. seriously i wonder why would there be ppl who want such girl as girlf? so imperfect. argh.

quality time has always been my love language. perhaps it'll change in the future, but for me, quality time, undivided attention, and someone being there for me when i need someone there... so cool. spending quality time with people makes the whole thing worthwhile, esp when you're with a loved one, or someone close to you.♥ :)

all i wish for in relationships is a lasting and happy one. but it seems so far away.
"if you're afraid then just squeeze my hand tightly."

nights :)

2011-05-03T21:19:00.004+08:00

hello people! today's a great day. like started super suey but ended well :)
morning, i missed a bus, missed a train, at mrt station, the mrt took A LONG TIME to open the damn door (two doors). met weijun at novena mrt station! :D hahah great day with him, thanks again for the honey drink :P hehehe! so sweet ttm ♥ :)
then math lecture. human bio lecture, lecturer damn fast like wth. ._. then break.
then p&i chem pract. me weijun kangling together. hahahaahh cute la wth :o as usual the class disturbed again, hahahah like one day dont disturb will die one. nvm :D had fun during chem pract :D SWnP, also boring. the new lecturer. boring.

hahaha will end here. tmr no cell bio! :DDDD happy much. but tmr need photocopy notes, pass forms, hand in the cell bio thingy etc... busy much.
now stomachache. i should go. bye :D

quoted from fb status: "The scariest part in being loved by someone is the uncertainty that they may stop anytime." . yeah, i think thats the scariest, esp when at that moment you find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with the person. :/ thats what i'm truly afraid of, above all fears.

i wish this time it'll be different, and there's no ending to this bcos everyday we'll still be close together and deeply in love.
not at the stage at love yet, perhaps slightly over friendship line.

2011-05-02T02:33:00.004+08:00

hopefully. if i'm ever able to...
I want to fall hopelessly in love with you . ♥
just, simple happiness. being contented with just each other by the side, every moment. thats gonna be so sweet. also, being able to last through trails, obstacles, facing every thing together. i want a r/s like that, but i'm unsure if its possible. ♥

need to sleep. my flu's getting worse. sore throat also. :(

2011-05-02T01:21:00.003+08:00

hello peepzxxzx. imma back ♥ anyone missed me? :D hahaha wth i'm like talking to myself. nvm.
oh well, its beginning of another week. this is week 3 of school, i think. yeahs. excited? hmm maybe? :o hahaha its the people in the class who makes me feel like going to school yeah. oh well. bored. labour day was spent rotting at home, nothing much to do. tio pangseh-ed by yw cause she today going w's house to sleep. so sian. hais! ):
oh well. idk what to post. so yeah. nights. oh yeah! havent done my report. NEED TO DO ASAP.

perhaps i'm afraid to show my negative side. simply afraid that you'd mind alot. sorry i'm not perfect. not even anywhere near. when one starts to open up about life to you, it means that she gradually wanna try to trust in you, that you wont judge her, wont leave her alone when she needs someone by her side the most. she's afraid to be alone, actually, all thanks to some others who left her a bad experience during sec2. honestly till now, she still struggles to trust in guys who wanna win her heart. bcos she realised that none of them she has met is true, and will stay throughout with her by her side. she's afraid to hope, bcos she's afraid of disappointment.... however she hopes that she'll gradually learn to trust in you, place her fears aside, and prays that you'll be the one who's able to stay by her side supporting her, no matter good or bad. she wanna do the same for you too, so if you've any probs or whatever, dont bottle it up, tell her, bcos this way, you'll feel better. ya'know, r/s is a two way thing yo..
oh well, why am i saying all these. whatever. but she's a strong girl, at least thats what she likes to think, after all the ordeals in sec2.

2011-05-01T06:03:00.003+08:00

I want to wear your sweatshirt to bed ;
Watch scary movies with you ;
Hold hands ;
Kiss you in the rain ;
Go on long walks with you ;
Laugh until I can't breathe ;
Make you watch chick flicks ;
Talk on the phone till sunrise ;
Play your favorite video games ;
Build a fort and have a snowball fight ;
Sit in front of a fireplace and talk about life ;
Sneak out at night to look at the stars with you .

I want to fall hopelessly in love with you . ♥

sweet. :D still talking to him on the phone. hahahah i'm sleepy, and i know he's sleepy too :x hahhahaha, we're sleepyheads :x nights :D

2011-05-01T01:23:00.004+08:00

hello people. its sunday! means... i need to rush my work and not spend whole day on comp. damn it. argh. i'm still wondering who can i ask out tmr to pei me do homework :/ argh.
and so, anw.. on sat. went flea market with huifang. found out more about MB1102, and is so thankful God placed me in MB1104. :D hehehe. huifang, jiayou! all the best, hang in there. anything can just find me de. we're in same school same course, different class nia. hahaha! iloveyou girl♥. :D then we parted, i made my way down to centerpoint long john. ate. did ABIT of cell bio report. then service. then dinner @ cine. then home sweet home :D

hahahha and i'm wondering why someone is looking forward to school sia. so sad monday no school :P heheheh. sian. dk why moodswing today. i mean just now. hais :( damn sad. hmmm. hahaha okay nights ppl :D ♥

if we can pass the test of time.
its so great watching horror movies with you cause i know you'll be there for me when i'm scared. you'll hold my hand and tell me if i'm afraid i just have to hold onto your hand tightly, like squeeze it. actually, i love the feeling. so good to have someone to hold onto while watching horror movie hahaha! and i know you wish time would just stop at that moment right. :P
teehee. ♥

2011-04-30T01:53:00.003+08:00

hello people :D its saturday now :D i'm happy :D hahahah later got service, so looking forward to it cause got new friends joining the nyp family. am hoping more ppl to join us tooo!!! :D man! :D had fun just now, dinner with weijun then watched movie. hhahaha kinda scary at the last part. hahahah! and my weird habit of smelling jackets is back! and my conclusion is that his jacket really smells nice :D hehehehe just like how yuwen's jacket smells nice too teehee. :D really enjoy spending time with him cause i feel really comfortable. ;D
ohoh! that day. idk which day. oh sorry its thursday. thursday night! met xinyi aka fishy for dinner. ate pasta mania :D hahahah. then met up with the rest to walk walk etc. we went to playground and sit. totally love that moment whereby we just sit there at our own personal space at a certain venue. just gathering together, be comfortable. even if there's silence, it wont be awkward silence among us. i dont usually feel there's awkward silences between us. i'm comfortable with them. :o as in, REAL COMFORTABLE. perhaps its the amount of time we spent together bah. some 4years 5years, some 10years alr *winkwink @ xinyi*. how awesome can it get? :) sometimes i just wished that (like xinyi), it'll last forever, if there is such thing called forever. i mean, yeah with God, there is. but among us humans, i doubt so. anw, i'm just so proud to have such friends in my life ehehehhe. my this bunch of primary school friends are a huge blessing in my life, esp xinyi edwin (he wasnt there thoughhhh D: ) fiona xp and few others. seriously, thanks so much for being in my lifeee :D thank God for you guys. :)

anw... i shall end here. basically nobody really reads my blog except SOMEONE. but oh well. hahaha nvm :) anw i'm curious why does someone suddenly like planning so much? :o waaaah curious max :P hahahah okay nvm. pokepokepoke. :D looking forward to next week. though math, SWnP, IMB is damn boring, and chem's boring thanks to the lecturer phoon. gah! human bio's fast, cell bio's WORDY. damn it. okay bye nights cya :D ♥

yeah, time will prove everything.
sometimes somehow i wish some things will last, like relationships, but it seems like a faraway dream now.

2011-04-29T00:01:00.002+08:00

hello people. :D its fridayyyyy :D hahahah today's lesson will be okay bah. cell bio lecture, then 3hour break (LOVE IT TTM!), then continue. got math tmr. wonder if i can finish everything ._. yawns. okay i should sleep soon so nights :D
well, i'm not looking for the perfect guy bcos i know that he doesnt exist. just pray for someone who'll accept me for who i am, love me with all their heart (like never before, and watch those dramas, awwwww soooo sweet much :D ), and really mean what he says (not just empty promises; i'm sick of that. ._.).... etc etc... oh well. whatever. nights :D
hopefully i'll have fun tmr :D

2011-04-28T00:36:00.009+08:00

this will be a super weird post cause i've no idea what to post too. ._. okay nvm. bye world. nights.
hmmm i suppose its just me having too many insecurities in relationship. hoi lee said this, when you sorta agree & accepting a guy too easily, he will not cherish you and take you for granted cause you're too easy to gain. i suppose that's the case. and i suppose thats the reason why i dont trust guys so easily. after some bad experiences, i knowingly + unknowingly built up my own shield around me, so that i wont get badly hurt by ppl who choose to take me for granted. for self protection. and bcos of this shield i have, i found it harder and harder to really trust guys when it comes to relationship, bcos i dont even know which of those words are real, and which of it are just sweet talks. i'm afraid to trust, bcos all i've seen are guys who at first very passionate (all sweet talks which sounds really really real), and then awhile later they mysteriously disappear, and whatever they say is void, it cannot be relied on. however i really do hope that one day, i'll discover (sounds weird but yeah) the person whom i can trust wholeheartedly w/o worrying that he'll break my heart, and handle my heart with care over a long long period of time. i'm sick of honeyed words and empty promises. i suppose thats why i hope to see that in one year's time, you really change for the better, and prove me wrong, and that show me you're reliable. just simply bcos i'm afraid. i just hope time will prove me wrong, and not prove me right of what i think. hahaha let time prove everything. i know i'm selfish. sorry i'm not a very good girl to begin with. with so many stupid insecurities. haha oh well, whatever ♥.

2011-04-27T00:55:00.006+08:00

man, hello! :D this is soooo awesome yo, haha. okay i'm talking crap. this gonna be a super short post so yeahhhh. happy with my qt so far, i mean the consistency, i hope it'll stay this wayyyyy! :D
anw, suddenly i'm so looking forward to friday after school. :D movie outing. hahahah. i bet he wanna watch horror movie again (just to scare me, then protect me) HAHAHA joker, but i think, if The Roommate comes out, we can watch that. he's so nice luh, when i'm scared he'll lend me his jacket and cover my eyes then tell me not to watch. hahahah! :P cute much. such a joy to have such a person in my life :) thank God :) i bet he's damn happy that friday he got no curfew (at least not till too late i think), RIGHT RIGHT?!?!?!?!!!!! :P hahahah so looking forward to school, kangling, him and my class is the reason why i look forward to school, no matter how tired and sick i am. woo bye ppl gotta turn in early! :/ today's considered early okayyyyyy! nights world♥

PS. hopefully gradually i'll see that i can trust in you (not to break my heart and make me disappointed) and i will trust you. i'm still waiting.

2011-04-25T01:36:00.003+08:00

hello ppl. :D i'm back. have been busy these few days. hahaha.
sat:
prayer meet in the afternoon. played games. pray. worship. hahahaha. once prayer meet ends, i rushed to northpoint hahahaha! :D damn fun. met weijun for movie. we watched scream4. damn funny la. BUT HOR like wth he keep scaring me la!!! its horror (+gore) movie he still scare me D: hahahah but watching horror movie with him is FUN :D hehheheh. he's super nice and sweet to me too. awwww. haha actually i really really like spending time with him. i mean like, yeah. at least i do feel relaxed (okay maybe there's still abit of awkward silences) with him, but its comfortable with him. haha. :D OH :O his jacket smell nice. okay ps i've this weird habit of smelling jackets (yw's jacket have the nicest smell, followed by weijun). HAHAHA. :D so awesome much. looking forward to next outing with him :DD

tmr have school. need microsoft office DESPERATELY. but i cant get it cheap (though i heard its cheap in school, for about 20buck??). hmmmm. HOW?! :( so troubled. sigh. i should just go do qt and sleep. nights world. ):

2011-04-20T10:04:00.004+08:00

HEY PEOPLE. had an enjoyable much day yesterday yo! of course, its yours truly's birthday yo! :DDDD anw, school suck cause it starts at 9am on the first day, D: but i feel damn bless okayxzxzxzx. received chocolates (+ a card) from weijun (damn nice of him laaa :DDD feel so touched.), oh and plus a honey drink from him cause of my stupid throat not feeling well, then my baby fishy (XINYI MOFO) called me just to wish me happy birthday! AWWWWW i'm so touched ♥ like, please lor not many ppl will just call you just to wish you happy birthday!!! eeeks she's so sweet. sucha nice + awesome + worth it friend ♥ woo! then lectures + breaks + 1 tutorial filled the day. teehee. after everything ended, took mrt with weijun and kangling (my new poly bestie teehee ♥), then went for dinner with weijun, his treat! SO NICE RIGHT LIKE WALAOXZXZXZ. okay he's super nice and sweet ttm! anw, after that saw my cousin (seriously, so irritating one), then he gave me a sony mp3 player, (when i told him it'll be better to give me a external hard disk) . oh well. forget it. i'll just buy a external hard disk myself. pfft. then after that we went home sweet home. awwwww. still thinking of yesterday and wished that time could rewind (which is impossible but well. nvm). gonna go lot 1 later with kangling and weijun, gotta get a NEW pencilbox. geez. okay, bye ♥

2011-04-18T01:17:00.004+08:00

trust, hope, disappointment. they all come together. like, a package. hah. when you start to trust a person, you'll somehow somewhere sometime hope for more, then when in the end, the person let you down, there'll be disappointment, and hurt will come along with it too. promises, which are those whereby it'll last?
oh damn. why am i tearing. i supposed its just being emotional. oh well. whatever. i shall just go do my qt and sleep. bye world.

2011-04-17T23:51:00.004+08:00

ouch. stupid toenail. it hurts you know. damn. perhaps its the reason why i'd rather emotional pain than physical pain. i think i cant even take a little physical pain at all. such a weakling. :( booo. i suppose i'm stronger emotionally than i am physically. argh. or maybe not. maybe both are equally weak.

no, who am i trying to kid. yeah, perhaps i may look strong to most of the ppl, but... i suppose i do have my fragile times too. damn. and today is one of those days whereby my emotions will be on a rollercoaster. i guess it'll feel damn nice when you know someone's always there for you, and when i mean always, is like, really always. throughout your good times, bad times, happy times, sad times, angry times etc. throughout months and years. someone whom you can totally rely on, when you're sad, the person will be there to lend a shoulder, to wipe away your tears. to encourage you, to pull you through various tough stages in life. if only there's such person. i suppose so far the person who's closest to doing all these (okay, maybe not close at all, but well.) is yuwen. totally feel so blessed to have her when i've my mood swings, my emo times. but still, she's attached, i cant trouble her every single time i need help. booo. sucks to be alone. nvm. life must still go on. i must be reminded that no, i'm not alone. even if everyone's busy with their own life and couldnt care less, i still have God with me. i believe He never fails, He's always faithful. slowly, step by step, i believe He will reveal who's the one who'll be with me, stand by me throughout my life, and that the person who'll love me so much more, and accept me for who i am.
crap, i'm not supposed to feel down when i've less than 24hours to the bigbig day. damn it.
going out with my new classmates later. i should have a good sleep. it's the beginning of a new phase of my life. i want to start everything anew, afresh. whatever that happened in secondary school and my holidays, i want to put them behind. move on move on move on~ :D right, sec sch life was tough with all the happenings, but i've pulled through. i will be strong, at least try my best to stay strong, throughout my poly life. yay-ness :D bye peepz, need to sleep soon, but i suppose i cant sleep...

2011-04-16T03:16:00.006+08:00

teehee! i'm back after so long! woo i feel refreshed. lots had happened.

few days ago was orientation, totally enjoyed it. NYP SCL Freshmen Orientation 2011 totally rocked. got to know my new classmates! my class have 21 ppl, 8guys, 13girls. (as usual, guys are outnumbered). HAHAHAHA funny thing: normally in a new class, girls will be more high than guys right? but for my class, super unique, the guys are super the high laaaa!!!! :DD while the girls are like sit there and stone. lol. my first new friend in class, kangling. :D she's very nice girl, like though quiet. and i found out that she's a christian! :D so cool right, attend lighthouse church. hahahah.

now, its 4am, and i'm still awake. hahaha!!! talking to weijun on the phone, for about 3hours alr. HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH. damn cool. its been damn long since i talked to anyone for so damn long alr!! teehee. fun talking to him, and still talking! AND THIS IS SO UNGLAM, STOP LOOKING AT MY PICTURES LAAAA. :( so ugly la. T_T

okay end blogging. hopefully my new class, MB1104, will get along with each other well, and be very bonded soon!!!! :D lovesloves!♥

2011-03-02T17:25:00.003+08:00

geez. its wednesday.

went out with clarissa today. first time going out with her ever since red camp (nov'1o). oh well. today kinda fun. went plaza sing, ate pizza hut. then jubeat♥. talking and catching up etc. and just found out that she's in the same course as r. == ohmygod. seriously. where got so qiao one lor. hais. then after i knew, i'm so bothered. or rather, feeling troubled (or just some weird feeling laaaa), idk why. the weird feeling shouldnt exist anymore; like hello its been 2years++. hmm it just felt weird bah i suppose? when will it go away, i wonder.
anw today was quite okay luh. postponed my dinner date with felicia, gonna meet during her march hols. :D soooo wanting to watch what woman wants, finding mister destiny, i love you love you love you, i am number four and few more... :) but with who? i wonder...

alright bye, dont feel like blogging anymore.

2011-03-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

from Love Buffet: pick a guy whom you love 100%, and he loves you 150%. and makes you happy. spend quality time with you, no matter what.
i know in a bgr, there's definitely one party who loves the other party more. yeahs. i think sometimes life's so unfair (its actually never meant to be fair). but oh well.

okay bye. hopefully lauxinyi (fishy♥) can have dinner on friday, and kbox/cycling as well hoho :) yay, loves. ♥

2011-03-01T20:07:00.001+08:00

oh yeah. forgot to mention! wuzun is out of fahrenhiet!!!! OMG LOR. he wants to dan fei. so whatever luhhhhh. idc much about him alr actually :P more concerned about my aaron yan ya lun ♥ heheh. he has the best voice among the four of them i think? then i'm looking forward to more aaron yan & jiro shows hahaha! :D as for calvin... hmmm...

lets wait, perhaps aaron yan will have a solo debut album! ♥

2011-03-01T17:47:00.003+08:00

aloha! :) just finished dumping the enrollment details into the nyp green box which doesnt looks green at all. hahaha! :D i mean, i just came back from nyp. quite okay uh. being my first time there, it was quite good that i didnt get lost. :P heheh. when i reach yck mrt station i was like wth why look so old de. shitxzxz i suck right i know roflmao. okay anw, after we submitted the enrollments forms, we went to koufu and eat. she ate shredded chicken macroni (spelling?!), while i ate chicken wanton noodle. worth it okay! but for the wanton noodle they put too much gravy yo. abit sian, but worth it. hehheh :) next time i'm gonna try the jap cuisine :D food food and food. hohoho :D
after finishing my food, i bought mountain dew to drink. drink while we walk. walk to school of chemical & life sciences ♥ and school of engineering. south canteen's near my school!! yay! :) then continue (toilet breaks in between luh), walked out of school to the bus stops near SCL, then walk back in again hhahahah! :) we went back to the school, walked straight. haha stopped at mac and i bought mcflurry oreo! (: huifang bought some jap stuff from four leaves. yumyum, and we continued on cause i wanna see their swimming pool!!! :D till now i'm still curious how deep their pool is. they should not put gates there, instead learn from SP, put glass doors and panels. :) then we walked and walked, and finally we walked out of the school. we walked to mrt and parted. i realised i need about 45min mrt ride from buonavista mrt to yiochukang mrt, excluding waiting time. so if including waiting time it'll be about an hour. and hence i concluded that i need to take about one and a half hour to reach school. woah :(

well let me be frank. i'm actually quite excited for school. though i saw ppl who're going into nyp this year looking so... lian-ish and beng-ish etc de. but i hope there'll still be nice ppl in the school! :) nice nice ppl whom i can talk and communicate with. yeahs. (: looking forward, though afraid. but i believe that no matter whatever changes, God's forever the same. still as faithful, still as merciful, still never fails. yay! just enough strength for today, from Him. ♥ :D

okay bye :D going out with clar in the afternoon, dinner with felicia at night. ♥

yeah i should just put the past behind me. both r&b, they're both part of my beautiful memory. to ahem, i'm sorry for attitude-ing you everytime you text me (which is like once in a blue moon), thats because i dont want let myself fall back for you. whenever i'm nice, you unknowingly/knowingly disturb me/and my peaceful life one. tsk. i told myself if i'm slightly mean to you, it also serves as a reminder to myself that i shouldnt feel anything for you le. cause sometimes i just cant differentiate between past and present. you come and go as you wish, i dont wanna experience the same thing again. i'm so sorry.

2011-02-28T20:51:00.002+08:00

hohoho. its just me. and i'm back! :D

past few days were... stressed out!

first, last friday i went medical check up with huifang at paragon. upon reaching there, i saw quite a number of guys, sadly, who're attached! awww! hahah dont care luh. anw, there's this pair of girls who kept staring at me, whispering among the two of them, pointing and giggling to themselves, at me/huifang. i'm like, hello i'm just right infront of you cant you see?! but anw, after awhile i found out that the girl was also posted to nyp. hahah. cause she asked me "you're going to nyp also? :D" i'm like yeah, i am. hahah. she's business course kid. cutexzxzx quite pretty luh haha. :) anw, i realised the doctors there are QUITE pretty. :D heheh. after the check up, huifang and i went to get ice cream to eat hehe :D then went home.

THENNNNN. sat! service :) woah, during the service itself then i realised that actually its my last service in Youth. :( quite sad actually. like, i'm gonna miss the central's family-ness, and the familiarity, with central g folks especially. hey peepz i'll miss you guys ♥ esp eugenia, felicia, tif, thalia (pretty woman), weiling, meimei, xueting etc. though i'm not close to some of them, but i'll miss them nevertheless. i'm afraid of what the future holds for me, actually. but i know that this transition period's a test from God for me. i'm gonna survive this with god, and emerge even stronger in Him :D yeah! i'm looking forward to meet my new unit mates :D

sunday! out with joyceyan! :) she's sucha babe. a friend that must be cherished! you know i really thank God for her for being there for me when i needed advices etc. :) yep! and i went bugis with her. :D had a great time chatting, eating (me laaaa!), walking etc. :D and taking pictures (camwhore??) :DDD awesome-tified huh! :D went bugis, then citylink (bought a super cheap dress at outfitter girls heheh) then marina square. saw jingyi toooo :D then at night went clementi mall to eat. tell you what i ate there == after having lunch at home, i ate those taiwan street snacks de honey glazed chicken cutlet @ bugis street. ice cream, drank lime juice. then kfc for dinner. sooo unhealthy :( goshed i need to exercise, SOON. hahah~ awesome-ness. hopefully with increased walking i wont grow fat so fast :(

anw, i loved my last service. it taught me that love is blind. yep. acceptance doesnt mean approval, it just means that you accept the person for who he/she is. i've to learn to expend my sphere of love, like, learn to love more ppl, ppl who're just different from me. yep. it really helps, on my journey to PolyDINS service. hahah~ God, i'll be depending on you so much more, relying on Your strength to pull through this transition period. i wanna make it through, and at the end of the race i'll see the rest of my mates! :D ♥

i'm so sleepy now. i should go home. bye people. going down to nyp tmr. :( but with huifang ♥ :D

2011-02-24T17:58:00.004+08:00

currently is soo damn stressed over the poly enrollment thing. its taking up too much of my brain cells. goshed. is it bcos too long never use my brain to think alr? its even worse than o's ==
its complicated i tell you. you need to pay at whatever bank, then you can continue with the registeration. we dont even know if the psea scheme is available or not. seriously stab me. medical checkup is required of us too. $20 per checkup. tmr going paragon for medical checkup @ 330pm. hope nothing goes wrong and i'm healthy! hohoho. btw, the cpf thing, you need access to internet, fill the forms, print out relevant details, then pass back to them. hopefully i can complete everything by 1st march. i'll deliver the documents to them PERSONALLY, in case they have excuses like we did not receive your documents etc. == seriously, CHOP YOU. so angryyyyy!!!! ARGH @*$&(*@&#

seriously i need someone to listen to my rants. LOL. i've been troubling huifang, jacelyn (my biaojie) etc etc. geez. thanks humans :DDDDD ♥ with lots of love :)

aww, so sweet luh, doubleeeu and whyyeeeee, :D so envious of them, though seperated for few months, they still love each other like alotalot. ♥ envyyyyyyyyyyyy. *stabs* okay whatever.

i'm hungry alr. i shall continue with love buffet. :D toodles. hahahah sharpay style.

2011-02-23T16:29:00.002+08:00

first thing first. I AM WORRIED!!!!!!! everyone's gotten their poly enrolment package, why havent i got it?! damn i'm super worried that i dont get it, and hence i cant get into poly :( liddat all my studying and mugging for o's is WASTED. damn.
i'm still so worried. why cant they just get my address right for once, and then send it to my house?! GRRRR. howhowhow?! idk what to do now T_T

okay anw today i went lunch with karen. super cool girl yeah she. heheh, she can really talk. its nice listening to her eh. also can relearn some life lessons. hahah (:
anw, lesson one: when you truly love someone, you dont just love them for one of their qualities that they have, you love them for who they really are, including their flaws and weaknesses. perhaps not love, but at least accept them for who they are, and not pick on it ALWAYS. ==

lovelovelove. sarang sarang sarang. ~ ♥

hahahahh, online relationships just dont work out in the end. this time i shall be more realistic.
bye ppl, dont feel like blogging alr. :( i love the weather: rainy day. a perfect day to emo. HAHAHAHH :))) bye ♥

2011-02-22T18:54:00.004+08:00

and this is to fishy.

hey fishy, stop it okay! i dont want minho :( jonghyun's mine okay!! minho is yongwei de, rmbbbbb? (:
oh yeahs, actually... i like kfc for their cheese only heheh :D and i like pasta with cream sauce yummyyyyy. and i like fish! i like to eat fish!!! :DDDDD oh, for the rest i guess i'm super the random. heheh. alright, i hope we can go out and get to know each other more! and, stop it, dont migrate to japan lar, dont dump me in singapore!! ): sad die me :(

poop! and i love you ttm like much. ♥
lauxinyi, hohuiying loves you ♥

2011-02-22T18:33:00.002+08:00

heyyyyyy ppl. woo i'm like so bored to death like ttm.

went out with huifang today, to vivo. on the way to harbourfront mrt, i saw karen clarissa and edrick, somewhere somehow. hahah. went to the hawker centre at seah im there to eat lunch. had chicken rice for lunch~ super hot weather today, dk why. then we went vivo. somehow randomly we decided to watch movie. damn sad, thanks to the age limits, we cant watch black swan and no strings attached. damn it! its m18. so sian ttm. we ended up watching 127hours. abit gross but damn cool and meaningful movie. ahahahs! :)) oh yeah the ticket collector for the entrance for the cinema! checked our ic, then told us, "1994 ehh, cannot go in, cause birthday havent over. 1995 then considered 16 this year..." we were like, hello, we're going 17 la toot. if we're born in 1995 we wont be in vivo, instead at school studying lar. oh please. anw, after the movie we went sky park walk one round and went home cause huifang had to go grocery shopping with her mama. ): so lonely luh.

sigh, i just realised i havent spent a single valentine's day with boyf before. quite stupid eh.. thats why i envy, sometimes jealous, of those couples happily walking on the street. sometimes when i hear stories of how good the guy is to the girl, and despite her shortcomings, still love her as much, for who she is. so damn awesome. but come on, in this society today which guy dont look for a girl who looks like what, idk, some super hot chic. hahahah, who am i kidding. geez, i dont even know what i'm talking. damn. can someone teach me how to trust, and how do i know if a guy is true to you, or he's just playing? o.o complicated.

bye people. i wanna go out tmr :( and i still love aaron yan heheheh, and love buffet's getting exciting. ♥

2011-02-21T18:02:00.002+08:00

okay after reading my darlingxzxzx's blog, i shall dedicate this post to her.
HELLO XINYI MOFO ♥ you know how much i love you like duhhhhhh. we've spent 10years together, though not exactly cause we were seperated during sec1-2, but i really still thank you for still being my close friend like WOAH :O you're one of those whom i enjoy being with you very much! 10years of friendship isnt easy. rmb those times when we quarrelled and patched the next minute? so cool la. though i know life's just starting to get complicated, and we both experienced our fair share of pains of r/s in life, but i just want you to rmb that i'll be there with you, and for you. perhaps not 24/7 cause i cant guarantee that. i dont wanna make promises that i cant keep. but one thing i'm pretty sure, for now at least, that you're one of those longest friends that is still so close with me, and i want to make effort for this friendship of ours. i want to maintain it. i know things will get very tough after poly, but please promise me, that you'll make effort and time out for us to spend some quality best friends time together okayyyy? and, i hope you'll share your sorrow joy tears laughter anger etc with me, like how i'll TRYYY to share with you (cause of stm ]: ). no matter how busy you are. okay honey? :D this 10years of friendship shall continue to last, hopefully, and we'll keep in contact yeah? i love you THIS much. :D ♥
PS. jonghyun is mine okay, you can take taemin onew key, minho belongs to my friend de. but jonghyun's mine :D

2011-02-21T16:12:00.003+08:00

first and foremost! i love the chalet on 18feb'11! :D though it was partially a failure if you see the attendance, but i think it was an awesome opportunity to bond with ppl whom i'm not close to. you see. and this chalet made me realised that actually, bengs are not THAT scary afterall. if you never step on their tails, they're actually quite nice, and some quite loyal de. though they may be loud and look scary, but i think as friends they wont really do anything bad i suppose? hmm. they can be nice friends too. and deep within them there's definitely a story to tell. average singaporean will see them as social failures cause they dont do well in studies, but i believe that they've something that they can do well in. definitely. perhaps just not studying. maybe some of them are good with computer, some are good in cooking, some are good in design etc. honestly, they might be able to do something i cant do well in. i suck with design, not good with comp, so-so with cooking. hahah, you see, as long as ppl dont look down on them, instead encourage them, it'll be much better for them. heheh. well, for me and i daresay most at the chalet (esp those stayed overnight), they had much fun as we played cards, walked around, drank, chat. HAHAHA. funny stories but i suppose i wont post it here. wanna know? text me. :D

well, as for yesterday, i went out with yuwen hoilee and yuan. hoho, they're fun bunch of ppl to be with. we went plaza sing. :D met at about 5plus, then walked around (?) then decided that i'm hungry and we should go eat. went to long john to have my lunch-cum-dinner. in long john damn joke. there was this weird/siao person, who firstly, we went in then sat down. he looked in our direction and smile and waved at us like we're his long time buddies. then nvm. LOL when yuan went to buy food for hoilee, i saw the weirdo talking to yuan HAHAHAHAHA. thats not all. when we were eating halfway, hoilee say he keep muttering sth to himself and have some funny actions. that guy also scared the person who went to sit a table away from him (PS. he keep changing tables okay) by saying sth after that person sat down with two medium drinks. ROFL. it was damn the pretty funny okay! he takes his whole tray to the counter just to get 2packets of chili sauce. hilarious. andand! he scared other customers in long john == when we used hoilee's iphone as a mirror to see his actions he stomped over to us and accused us of taking his photos HAHAHAHAHA. :P and when he left, he "banged" us :( so unfriendly. :(
ANW! :)) i had a great time with them yesterday. watched just go with it also :) i loved that show! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD i really hope my friendship with them, esp yw, can last (:

currently enjoying my afternoon with fries coke mcflurry :)

anw, i wonder why are awesome guys seem to be extinct in singapore. faithful, no flirt, not whole day emo, loves you very much, protects you with all his heart and life, honest, wont betray you for other girls etc... == stupid, why am i dreaming again. like there's such guys liddat. yawn :O
bye ppl. :D hopefully can go shopping with huifang tmr :)

2011-02-17T18:16:00.004+08:00

its been a long long time since i posted anything here. goshed. great, i'll revive my blog now :)

since the last time i posted, i've learnt a lot of lessons, experienced joy laughter sorrow tears anger, i've definitely grew much more mature, and lil bit closer to Him. let me share my life with you, bit by bit, of my reflections on last year.

studies-wise;
i think it has been a fruitful year for me, even though i know the results werent that good. but, i've learnt much more, and gain a deeper understanding of "you reap what you sow". fought through one of the hardest academic journey in my sixteen plus years of life. wow. its so different from PSLE, where i played through. this time, though i still chose subjects to focus on, mainly e math and chem, but i really gave it my all, with that little time i have. because i chose to start late, i had to face the consequences. nevertheless, i made it through. i dont know how, but i did it. i really wanna thank God for helping me through this tough journey. many times i felt like just throwing in the towel, but thanks to God who put friends around me, who stood by me, make me laugh at the moment i wanna cry. thanks. i've to thank God for His strength, wisdom, for pulling me through. thank Him for being so faithful to me, even at times when i drift from His presence into hiding. from the first day of the papers, which is the science practical, i told myself that i'll do my best, for His glory.
i remembered that i screwed my bio&physics practicals. then here comes english paper. i was so damn worried for i will fail my english. i've been failing my english compres like nobody's business, seriously. i got c6 for prelims. i prayed, and i sat for exam. its true you know, its only when in exams period, your prayer life is at its peak. woah, but i try not to do that though. oh well, next paper, e math. i've always been the bottom of the class when it comes to e math. my class' math is super good, for i've no idea why. math + me = dont click. i feel super the discouraged k. :( well i know i had my share of careless mistakes and kena tricked by stupid question, but its OVER! next paper: a math. HAHAHAHA this amusing subject which hijacked my confidence level to the lowest. a subject which i never seem to pass it, especially in major exams, NEVER okay. i've been failing my a math since the starting of sec3. to be honest, i'm not a very fast learner, when it comes to math. i know my a math teachers, mainly mrs yock and ms jaya, is very sian with me cause i keep failing their subject. anw, in o's, i decided to "drop" a math, like not studying for it, and just go in with whatever knowledge i know and do my best. well i did exactly that cause there wasnt enough time to salvage it (when you're one & a half months away from o's and you need 3 solid weeks to salvage it -.-) .
next! pure chem. this was the most heartbreaking paper ever. i started mugging for chem since august (its the first subject i started off with), together with e math, slowly doing and practising. i know i'm super weak in paper2, but i really did my best in my paper 2. also very distracted by some random stupid ppl who pranked me on the day of my most important paper. seriously, just die, and thanks so much man. zzz. after pure chem is... combined physics! DANG i screwed this paper terribly thanks to conversion errors. and the best thing is i realised my mistake at the moment when the person said "okay time's up, pens down". so amazing. next! 3rd nov, history and combined biology papers. isnt it amazing to have two wonderful papers which require heavy memory work on the SAME day! thankfully, i pulled through. though i screwed my history paper too, with no conclusions in both essays, and a 2-3 sentence answer for a 8mark question. == as for biology, it was so-so i suppose. then followed by 5days break, to social studies paper! i was so damn afraid for ss okay, knowing that i failed combined humanities in prelims thanks to ss. 6/25 for sbq, aint it amazing? well. for the exam itself, i screwed it too. i didnt do the conclusion for both essays (again) due to lack of time, and sbq! the last question, 8mark one, you know for my class usually when miss khoo shows us, its usually up to a full page ( i think), then i only did half the page cause i completed only half of the question, and the person said "time's up, pens down please, no more writing"! GRRRRR. angry. oh well. no point. next, chinese. it was totally stupid. i had a tap in my nose, its on and the water keeps dripping from it. i had flu; the water keeps dripping from my nose like nobody's business. it lasted throughout my paper 1 and 2. it finally stopped at the end of my paper2, when i walked out of the hall. zzz DAMN IT -.- okay next. pure chem mcq. i think i did quite well though. last but not least, combined bio/physics mcq: SCREWED. ==
okay. thats about it. i was very afraid for my results actually, after my ft, mryuen, told the class that i was one of the potential o level failures, along with some other ppl. woah. :( so discouraging okay. well, on 10jan, i got my results. it was, unexpected. you'll see why:
♥english; B4.
♥e math: B3.
♥a math: B4.
♥combined humanities (ss/hist): A2.
♥chemistry: B3.
♥combined science (p/b): A2.
♥chinese: still B3 ==.
tada! greatest improvement subject goes to combined humanities! i've no idea how i did it. my proudest subject: a math! i've finally, for once in my 2years of taking a math, passed it! and it's a b4! :D well, most disappointing one was e math and pure chem. :( sigh.
thats about it for studies i suppose? i got posted to nanyang polytechnic, molecular biotechnology after appealing. same course as one of my best friend, huifang also :D ♥ long story why i didnt go sp/np cause nyp is super far from my house.

friendship problems:
i had a super complicated friendship problem. to cut the long story short, this friend of mine disappeared without a trace after red camp, texting me only for schedules. i didnt understand why. after that i found out that oh actually she patched back with that boyf of hers who dumped her for another girl JUST BEFORE O LEVELS. such a thoughtful guy. well, apparently she didnt contact her friends cause she's too busy with her boyf and all. that guy is always her first priority. well i dont mind that, but she cant just neglect her friends, esp the ones who stood by her when she was at the lowest period right? another goodfriend of mine, we'll call her mehmeh, also cant stand this after an incident on the 10jan. poof, the issue started. mehmeh and i realised that the way she treats mehmeh and the way she treats me is totally different. mehmeh thinks perhaps she herself gave in to that friend too much, and never once told that friend how she felt. she told me that she felt betrayed and being used. both of us were too disappointed in her. that friend, according to mehmeh, told me that she posted on fb about my bad temper and attitude problem, and making herself seem very pathetic. gosh. when i heard this, i was thinking, yes i admit, i've got attitude problem and bad temper. BUT LOOK HERE, its not like nobody else knows this! every of my closer friends knows this foul temper and attitude of mine. i've been trying to change it. and lets see, whose attitude is worse, mine or her boyf? i dont break her heart as often as her boyf breaks her heart! == come on, lets face it, she's just plaining siding him and covering up for herself. after that, she did text me, once or twice, but usually after her friend, i assume, told her to, cause we communicated through fb about the issue. thanks man, such a nice friend who texts you when others tell them to, and not out of the heart. since end of red camp till now, we havent went out, NOT EVEN ONCE. well, nvm. let bygones be bygones. even though i still cant totally let go of this matter, but what can i do? nothing right. except me and mehmeh being totally disappointed in her. BUT! look on the bright side of life man, thanks to this incident, me and mehmeh got even closer~ :)

this holidays i learnt a lot, and renewed some life lessons. this is a random but true enough one: cherish the people around you, dont regret it when you lose them one day.
i really got to thank God so much for this period, it was tough. toughest thing after o levels (except this upcoming chalet ==). but thank God for putting friends around me who listened to me, shared my sorrows and burdens and worries. yay. (: you know, God's amazing! i'm thankful that i still keep in touch with some friends of mine, like fiona xinpei joyce huifang huili edwin, and more. (: i'm glad that they treasure this friendship, and they showed it through their actions. (: i love them ♥

alright time for me to gooooo hehehe. chalet tmr, hopefully it'll be successful! omg :/ bye!

2010-06-27T19:29:00.007+08:00

my emotions have been a rollercoaster ride for these few days. i pray and hope and believe that it'll come to a stop. honestly, for my sixteen years of life, i've only experienced the feeling of falling deep in love and find it hard to bury/forget TWICE. the two people, make a super good music genre, or whatever you call that. R&B. cute huh. oh well. even though B's was just some random person who suddenly walked into "her" life, and told her she's the most important person (other than parents&siblings) in his life.. just as she went slightly out of control in her feelings for him, he simply left with a dumb excuse like "my phone no money" and walked out of her life. SUCKER. OH WELL. people like this come and go. i will be over it soon. i cannot allow all these stuff affect my O's, my future. ngeeann poly, thats my aim. ♥
forgetting someone and healing your own wounds is hard, but accepting a new one is harder cause you dont know if he'll hurt you the same way the previous one did. even though its hard, i will move on with my life and put the past behind me, and i'm ready for a new r/s. of course, that'll wait till after o's. but, I WILL PUT THE PAST, which has been haunting me for two years alr, BEHIND. and happily live my new life, esp my poly life. IT WILL BE A GOOD ONE!
God, nothing is impossible with You, so i'll do it with You! For You have been so faithful, staying by me when i thought i was alone. it'll be tough, but i will overcome it with You. as the saying goes, the going gets tough, the tough gets going. or in which way you phrase. YAY. ♥
even though it still hurts sometimes, but i believe one day the hurts will become beautiful memories, memories which will stay with me for life.

tmr school starts. semester two. the semester which i dreads the most. ARGH! prelims and o's, i'm so screwed if nobody is willing to study with me EVERYDAY after school!!! OH MAN. ARGH #&*%#*($#(@&$@(*&
i'm so not in the mood for school now. school sucks to the max. damn it. facing the ACS will be the worst thing ever. hearing him "preach" every assembly, when everyone is on the verge of falling asleep. the words just go as, BLAHBLAHBLAH...

okay gtg. bye people. goodluck to me. i pray that i wont die of stress/heartache(?)/sorrow etc.

PS. cherynn, this is for you, whatever i wanna say. i cant possibly sms this to you right? :/

2010-06-18T22:08:00.002+08:00

hmm. currently @ clementi lan. feeling abit down, since i had started playing. idk why.
really super bored too. maple is boring. the other two are audi-ing. oh whatever.
i've nothing to say, just posting. hmms.
bye. stupid life. why is there love? :O

*Forgetting someone and healing your own wounds is hard, but fully accepting another is harder cause you never know if the next one will hurt you the same way again.
here's a story: first this guy came into your life & makes you feel (and said) that you're the most important to him&that he'll wait for you 4eva, gradually you develop feelings for him. tnen, appearance of another girl made your presence non-existent to him. &he cease contact with you. wei shen me ta de chu xian hui rang ni bian cheng ling wai yi ge ren? it's what i'm afraid of, it came true. firstly you fall for this guy who's your first love, &you're in a place even better than heaven. then, when everything fails, you fall to somewhere which is deeper than hell. you try ways and means to pick yourself up again. at a certain times, you meet people who'll aid in your recovery, then you somehow fall in love with the someone whom you meet as he made you feel that you're of the most importance. suddenly, the appearance of another soul took him away from your side, then you fall again, into the deepest of pits. thats a story, which might not happen in your life, but if you look around you, there'll be some with similar stories.

2010-05-25T20:36:00.003+08:00

okay hello people. i dont know what to say. just..
i woke up late today for school, so i didnt went school. mum wasnt feeling well, so i tried to take care of her today. hey, at least i tried. though i couldnt cook a shit. D: oh man. 6more days. chinese o levelsxzxzxzx. scared? bet i am. :( well, just give it my best shot!<3.

2010-05-24T22:07:00.003+08:00

HELLO.
ohmygoshed. have been feeling rather frustrated. :O
you know, o's chinese is just NEXT MONDAY. and i'm really afraid that i wont get an A1. sigh. :(
yuwen's going for camp for a few days le. when she leave there'll be nobody to sms me D: whoever i sms also no use cause they dont know what i talking about. tsk. then liddat am i suppose to emo for like 875892374983756289days till she return? HAHAHAHA. joke.
okay dont feel like blogging anymore. msn more important. LOL.
bye. loveme<3

2010-05-23T20:46:00.004+08:00

sigh. midyears are over. results are quite bad. except for chinese. but i must not be complacent, cause i know its my fatal weakness. ): sigh.
i realised, having gone through a relationship has taught me a lot. i've learnt a lot from the past mistakes, and it made me think a lot too. i have not regret for going into a relationship this early. even though i have to suffer a lot, but i'm a stronger person now, after all the hurt. it made me a stronger person, and i'm thankful for that. imagine being new in a relationship when you're young adult, and when it ends, you suffer a blow which is unimaginable. things will seem to fall apart, and your world will too. like how i experienced it. so i'm really really glad. (: yay. by thinking a lot, one will understand a lot, and learn from the past mistakes, gain life values, know and understand why some things are like that. some things are just meant to be. oh well.
okay i shall go. :D BYE(:

*the old has gone, the new has come, and i'm referring to some... things. yuwen will understand what i'm going through now.

2010-05-12T19:35:00.003+08:00

hello ppl. omg i feel damn freaking bored. hungry now. at library. wanna thank yuwen for lending me her laptop, and do whatever i want. omg i really feel quite O_O idk. i miss those days in sec1, where we can just play freely, not caring about anything else. sigh. i agree, that, "dear sleep, i know i really dont like you when i was younger, but now i love you so." oh boy, i really do love sleep. :( i realised i cant do without it. honestly i do not understand why do people like to miss their precious sleep for studies. sigh, now i know the importance of "health" and "sleep"; it is so precious and valuable that you cant afford to lose it.
oh well. i've finally ended my exams. just waiting for the release of results. i'm afraid that i'll flunk several subjects, again. terrified. sigh. especially a math. its extremely irritating! :( sigh.
for relationships. first, friendships. i know the closer i get to the friends outside, the further i'll drift from my friends in school. my clique. i havent been very close to them. it's honestly very irritating. seeing them makes me feel very stressed. i can sense that due to the pressure that their parents place on them, they are being stretched like a rubber band, reaching to the maximum point. they might snap anytime, however they struggle to survive. and bcos of this stress, and the level of homework that the teachers have been giving us, they havent been able to stay back and have lunch much, thus reducing the time we spend together as a clique. i'm rather sad. especially seeing one of my best friend and i drifting so far apart. its heart-wrenching. or however you spell that. o.o sigh, i just hope we'll still stay as friends and bond more after o's.
well, as for bgr. actually i've got nothing much to say, just that.. forgetting someone is never easy. after two years, though time has healed most wounds, but i can never seem to erase those moments from my head. two years have passed, i've given up, but i have not fully let go.
oh well. why are we talking about these? :O

31may; i hope my luck is good and my brains are working on that day :DDDDD good luck baby<3 hehe. :D

2010-05-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

finally, after a week plus of torturous examinations. i'm left with chinese listening compre and science (phy/bio) paper1. SIGH. i really think that my a math is extremely weak, till sometimes i'm so tempted to just give up on everything. honestly, its very exhausting just clinging on to something which you've failed the nth time, which you do not bother counting. i'm really tired; as tired as when i cling on to something which you know it's impossible. sigh.
life has been rather dull for the past few months. homework, study and more homework. for the first time in my life, i took up english tuition. how amazing can that be?
nevertheless, my journey with god has been strengthened due to exams. i really thank Him for being there, always, throughout my exams. with god, i could finish my english papers and chinese papers on time. i think without Him, i'd have given up on a math long ago, and really give up. but i didnt . no matter what teachers or ppl say, though it might be demoralising at times, but i still hung on. persevere. amazing that i didnt give up till today. honestly, if i am able to get at least a B3 for o's, i'd be damn happy. bcos for someone who consistently fails a math (not just fail, but F9s), being able to see results at the end of the day brings the greatest joy to the person's life. amazing.
oh well, six months have passed. or rather, five and a half? time flies, in a blink of an eye, there's only like, five more months to o's. am i scared? definitely. i'm afraid that i cant get into the course which i really want. oh boy ~
i've got alot more things to post, but i guess thats all for now, cause the stupid library is closing. OH WELL :D smile. ~

2010-04-24T19:27:00.002+08:00

hello ppl! :D
currently at cathay.
very tiring nowadays, not having enough sleep is bad for health. oh well.
exams are coming. i think im gonna score quite badly. trying very hard to save my a math now. sometimes feel tired, wanna give up. OH WELL.
all the best. sorry for not updating for so long. will update regularly after my o's. till then, BYE!♥
PS. about six more months. :D 31may o's chinese.

2009-11-11T19:35:00.004+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE♥! im really bored. so im posting.

talking to edwin on msn now. you know, im dying to get ppl to talk to me on msn? i miss yuwen. ): HAHAHAHA she's my HTHT partner ♥ . yay i love her :D

im gonna plan for next week. i shall go out with yuwen. :) yay. okay also. 21nov, FAMILY BONDING NIGHT!♥ anyone going? :D tell me, ya? good girl/boy. :) yay you love me, of course.
tsk. im really bored to tears. D: someone talk to me?

sometimes maple is really boring. yeah. kill me please.

wanna go out with alot ppl this hols. alotalot ppl. and achieve something ; helping to solve crisis. like, im seriously indirectly facing one now. yes crisis! ROAR.

friends are really important people. you know, for me, its very hard to find someone to just sit there and listen to all my rants. maybe other than yuwen. and huifang. isnt it great just to go out with your BFF, best friend at least, and just talk about anything under the stars? or sun if you'd prefer. however, when i tell someone about how im feeling, i really hate it when the person lecture me and tell me to do this do that. im not a pet. roar. many ppl do that. thats why i stopped telling people who do this to me things. yeahs. im evil, yes, but. know your limit please.
however, im always glad to be there for someone, whoever who needs a friend to talk to, to lend a listening ear too. i'll be here. ~ yeahs. if you realise that you need a friend, turn around and i'll be there for you. ♥

yay me. okay i think i'll stop blogging. really, dont feel like blogging. no mood.
tadah. nobody cares about me, so yeah. bye.

2009-11-09T12:40:00.003+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE!♥:D im back from combined school concert! it was an enjoyable & unforgettable one. even better than my sec1 combined concert with GESS.

for the past week, we had combined rehearsals with four other schools, namely gan eng seng, hai sing catholic, clementi town, & yusof ishak. at first, i really felt like skipping this concert, firstly, bcos its taking away my holidays free time! and, cos HSC reminds me of HIM. (youknow,iknow,weknow). yeah. but actually, no matter how tiring this was, i still presevere. HAHAHAHA.
well the choir rehearsals were long but fun! :D
firstly, when we first got together and did combined and sing Phantom Of The Opera, i was. WOW. the song is veryvery low, and the guys (tenor&bases) were WONDERFUL! its like. when they first sang, im totally melted on the floor. *shy* HAHAHAHA! for every rehearsal i was damn looking forward to the singing of phantom, cause i can hear the guys! oh my.
SECONDLY! the guys, not only they've got great voices, i spotted good looking ones too! mainly, two YUSOF ISHAK and one HAI SING CATHOLIC. omg. lol. one of the guy called simpson or sth, another called.. lets just call him white jacket. LOL. or dimple guy. HAHAHA both also kinda good looking. simpson's the soloist for paradise :o and, the HSC guy.. he looks mature to me, and kinda good-looking for the mature looking. aiya idk what im talking about. the guy with the hand in cast! lol :3 oh my. this is one of the things (or memories) i brought back :D LOL. :/
okay. thirdly, i've made some wonderful new friends there! :D hoho. people like wan tien and yangwenn from HSC, :D weimin and chinxuan from YISS :D i realised that yiss ppl are kinda good looking. hmm. no matter guy or girl. haha. i guess thats what made almost every girl talk about either white jacket guy or simpson. HAHAHA.

at first, for the first and starting of 2nd combined rehearsal, i told huilin mei about how i was feeling, like, i'd feel reallyyyy sad when standing near HSC ppl. cause.. yeah. i know i shouldnt feel this way alr. but. HAH. i survived. no matter how much the pain was, i still survive. but i've to thank yuwen & huilin for listening to my... rantings? HAHAHA. end up being friends with HSC people :D actually i find HSC & YISS ppl more friendly than CTSS & GESS. maybe im always surrounded by HSC & YISS ppl. HAHAHA. yay another obstacle i've gone through. im stronger now. :D
you know, not all ppl are like him. i kinda like wantien & yangwenn. they seem to me like they're.. sisters? HAHAHA. they have this really close bond between them! and they're nice people. LOL. :D serious! they're nice people :D and yiss also quite friendly. haha. :D

yeah~ i shall shorten it.
soo....
yesterday was a tremendously tiring yet fulfulling day, a decision which i'll never regret. :D had two sessions, 3-5pm, 8-1opm. :D firstly i wanna thank bk, angela, yuwen, eugenia, felicia and alexia for coming down to support me :D i know i was really really very stiff cause im really nervous. but yeah thanks! :D had lots of fun throughout. i kept complaining to eunice ang, the HSC girl beside me that my heels hurt D: and like, they expect us to stand so longggggg. D: haha. roda and huilin keep disturbing me, commenting on my expression when both soloist singing paradise. HAHAHA. okay. whatever :3
anw the concert ended @ night with a super high paradise, and after curtains closed, we scream & shouted for joy! YAY! it was a really touching moment *smile* :D omg yay! :D

you know, i really hope we'd have another concert like this next year. but.. D: o levels next year!
die!

okay i shall stop here. im really lazy. you know, im kinda missing the ppl in concert, HAAHAHAHAHA esp yiss & hsc. the guys i mean. LOLOLOL. if xinyi went, she sure more huachi than me :3 heh buhbye!♥

2009-10-30T08:50:00.003+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE IM BACK FROM SEC3 CAMP! :DD ♥
miss me? betcha did. :) well, the three day two night camp @ Kota Tinggi was... well. hear my stories kay! however summarised they may be...

day one(27/1o);
arrived in school at usual time. then we had our attendance taken then blahblahblah *skips abit* finally, we boarded the bus/coach! :D yeah. the journey there was about 2-3hours? or more i think. o.o sat with huili laopoh ♥. infront of me was... edwin! HAHAHAHA. and. kk. behind me was REGINE & SHERILYN :) regine that BIGBIG lamer. HAHAHA a joy to be with her man! :D we chatted, slept, ate, emo-ed(?), etc... then finally, we reached kota tinggi. took a boat which could only fit about 3o-4o ppl, but only about 2o++ ppl onboard.. so we crossed the river, and tadah! we're @ mawai eco camp. tsk. thats where our nightmare started.
had our groupings. me, huili, regine, sherilyn, edwin all under the same group; ALPHA! :D leader is daryl chang. :D hoho, he's a pretty good leader kay. however, clarissa was in bravo. ): poor thing luh, my clarissa ♥.
okayokay, skipskipskip. then its the first activity of the day ; river studies. HOHO. this is one of the slackiest one of all! all we had to do is... sit on boat, chit-chat, press few buttons, and thats it! :D i love it man. OMGOSHED. :D
okay, here comes the disgusting part; the jungle survive thingy -> SWAMP WALK. i tell you, it was absolutely disgusting. the muddy waters, the trees blocking your ways, the creepy crawlies found IN the water, unseen... ESPECIALLY LEECHES! i tell you, i was screaming and squeaking (SP?) my way through the forest. its damn freaking disgusting can. D: i suspect i got bitten by a leech. sucks huh. im sooo glad its over.
next was dinner, after wash up OF COURSE. hey, surprisingly, the food here is superb! :D its darndarndarn nice like mad. there were two cute lil dogs running around, which made quite a number of girls, including huili and charmaine, freak out. HAHAHAHA. omg i think they're cute though (: black doggie is oreo, while the brown one... err. hmm.
okay last activity, fireflies watching. cooooooooooool to the max, although its very eye straining. made my eye veryvery pain. but was on the verge of falling asleep... *yawn*
okay after that, little supper, and LIGHTS OUT. couldnt really sleep though. however i really thank God for listening to me, and helping me throughout the first day. yay!

day two(28/1o);
okay summarise!
kinda suck in the morning as huili and i couldnt do the water obstacles as we were having our period and stuff. you know. yeah, but water obstacle really freak sherilyn and charmaine out. thanks to regine and daryl who calm them down, respectively. HAHAHAHAH. sian. after that was the raft building. that sucks too. other groups, they had one UG person in their group, while my group? NOT EVEN ONE. damn suck, they took all the good people while they left SHIT (nothingness) for us. me, huili, edwin, sherilyn, regine, charmaine. yeap. eh charmaine damn pro. HAHAHAHA. she can tie knots :o however she's pissed off i think. D:
okay next. lunch, then went to the port (or whatever). didnt get on the boat with the rest of the class. me and edwin, plus one whole bunch of scary looking teachers, were together. sucks huh. all the people on the boat kept looking at us, like we were freaks. HEY WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?! damn you. get lost okay? stop staring, like you've never seen someone stranded before. laugh? stop your laughing before i poke a durian into your ass. i think cherynn tried studying my expression and feelings. too bad. anymore in-depth feeling, in my private blog. bye suckers.
okay skipskipskip.
reached tanjung sutera. chalet was kinda nice. :D shared room with charmaine.
next activity, my favourite, ROCKY COAST WALK ♥ HAHAHAHAHA. yaye. even though it was terrifying, worrying.. etc. its still my first experience walking on such rocks. was damn cool. seeing the SOUTH CHINA SEA ♥ . yaye its beautiful. great for couples, especially in the night :)
anw, after that we went to shower, then dinner. then campfire prep, then CAMPFIRE!
campfire was okay, its just that both 3a and 3b were self-entertaining. i mean, seriously! i doubt 3b can make out what we were doing, and i dont get the joke among 3b, they were all laughing and giggling! :3
okay, then sleepsleep time.

day three(29/1o);
hooray! finally last day of camp. it was unbearable. i really missed my bed, etc.
first, mangrove walk. it was okay, quite fun. muchmuchmuch better than swamp walk. at least, there's no leeches. HAHAHAHAHA.
then, pack up and lunch. after lunch, i walked out to the "balcony" beside the canteen. wow. i love the wind. its so, strong, that my hair kept covering my face. the wind was continuous. O_O yaye me, i could do alot of thinking there. :)
eh, heard from deborah that ppl from 3b was asking if me and edwin together. LOLOL. do we look like we are? we're just really really really really close friends, you know. who says you cant have a best guy friend? :D hahahah, we were in the same clique since... p3, which was like, in year 2oo3. (: so yeah.
okay then, the teachers told me and charmaine to clean up the rooms! whats wrong with it. isnt it supposed to be the people/workers here cleaning up? i know its wrong but, since we've paid for it...
okay, finally. HOME SWEET HOME. reached singapore at about 5plus 6pm. :D yay!

now, i kinda miss the camp, especially the rocky coast walk! :/ anw, i wanna thank God for being there for me, going through everything with me. and, plus thanks huili, edwin, regine, clarissa, charmaine. thank you guys very much. HAHAHAHAHAH! SMILE :D

okay bye. lazy to post alr. i want maple :3 ELEANORx3 in cass :D bye ♥

2009-10-16T11:23:00.003+08:00

HELLOS PEOPLE! yeah i know you missed me. HAHAHAHA!
okay updated results. roughly, cause i cant rmb all.
♥English ; C6
♥E Math ; C5
♥A Math ; E8
♥Biology ; A2
♥Chemistry ; C5 ):
♥Physics ; B4
♥Chinese ; A2
♥Combined Humans (SS/H) ; C6 i think.

HAHAHA! at least i see As. i love my chinese man. ♥ you know, actually chinese is a fantastic subject. the problem lies with the attitude in class and the teachers. we get lousy teachers, thats why.
okay just came back from the 52nd speech and prize giving day. utterly boring. really sucks. felt like falling asleep, you know, the feeling in class listening to some monotone teachers, with such a humid weather in singapore, especially its the subject you hate.. can you imagine? okay maybe not, but yeah :D
OH YA! our chinese holiday homework. every single holiday, the chinese department will have some, weird storybooks and worksheets to ENTERTAIN us during our holidays, as they're afraid that we'd get too bored in the holidays, nothing to do. yeah. should be grateful to them huh. -.- however, this time, we've got the CHINESE VERSION of toto chan! :D the girl by the window (: wheeees. ;D should be nice. but im more interested in the english version. hmm.

okay im really bored. and i really hope that i can play maple soon!!!
oh boy.

okay cya. im trying to see if there's maple patch or sth. well. bye loves!♥ love kimhyunjoong! HAHAHAHA! anw, join me at cassiopeia if you'd like. ELEANORx3 (:

i guess by trying to not look interested and sms you less often, i think the feeling, and pain would lessen. even though it still hurts, but.. since you left when i needed someone the most, obviously you dont deserve it... but.. idk what to do. you think you still have my trust? obviously not. as much as im always tempted to trust you, to give you and myself another chance, but i always flinch at the thought that you'd leave again. im not as strong as you think, as others think. im a person who looks strong on the outside, but my inner self is really fragile. damn. idk if this works, but, go away.

2009-10-13T16:21:00.004+08:00

Hellos people. ♥

just came back from school, and since today i dont have much on, i decided to came here.
somehow, it has been a rather sad and depressing weekend, &today and yesterday. partly is because of my results. well..
since yesterday, i've been getting back papers, and it was rather disappointing. i knew i didnt do well for chemistry. and chinese, perhaps. or rather, all the subjects okay?
but my results... i kinda think i deserved it. for not being motivated to start studying earlier.
well so, here are my results.. ;
♥English:
Paper 1 ; Section B 16/2o. Paper 2 ; 28/5o.
♥E Math: Total; 52/1oo [C6]
Paper 1 ; 37/8o. Paper 2 ; 57/1oo
♥A Math: Total; 37/1oo [F9]
Paper 1 ; 32/1oo. Paper 2 ; 28/1oo.
♥Chinese: Total ; 68.5/1oo [B3]
♥Combined Humans: Total; 53/1oo [C6]
History ; 52/1oo. Social Studies ; 54/1oo.
♥Physics: 66.5/1oo [B3]
♥Biology: 68.5/1oo [B3]
♥Chemistry: 52/1oo [C6]

okay ya whatever. lousy huh. damn this stupid thing, so freaking irritating. zzz damn it.

okay I've got no mood now. wont blog alr.

why is it that I've got to hear from others your feelings, and thoughts. damn why is it that i cant just forget about you and move on? i guess you already have someone you like. im feeling lousy because of you too. idk what i should do.

2009-10-08T11:54:00.004+08:00

HELLO PEOPLES!♥ finally i've finished my exams, and that i can play. YAY :D
during the exam period was like HELL. but thankfully, i've got my friends and God with me. yeah. i really wanna thank people like EUGENIA BOYF♥, huililaopoh, huifang♥, edwin, cherynn, and joyce. for being by my side, either encouraging, joking, or pissing me off. yeah THANKYOU GUYS ♥ :D YESYES ILOVEYOU!:D♥
okay, exams really sucked. i think im gonna fail a math and e math. i really hope i dont fail english and chemistry. oh boy, and my combined humans also!! i lost at least 32marks in a math paper one, and at least 39marks in a math paper two.
e math paper two also sucked. plus, the teacher who took my class is that minahkoh. like whats her problem. i dont like the way she treat students, as if we aint human beings with feelings to her. DISGUSTING. tsk.
and, i just realised that actually, mryuen really loves our class, but in his way. the way he treats us is extremely nice, and we're scared of him, even though he didnt really do anything to us. its natural. hmm. but at least, he trusts us. hmm...

hoho. i think having friends like mine is such a blessing, a gift from God. yeah. you know, even though my friends aint popular, but i feel that they're nice and genuine people. hohoho. sometimes i think that i've made a wrong decision to go 3a, but i suppose, thats where God placed me in. yeah. HAHAHAHA. okay.

yes i look forward to service. i love the youth service!
and youth camp is coming OMGOMG. i gotta save up man. D:

okay i shall end here. im feeling lazy to type. going out with JOYCEYAN&JULIA tmr. HAHAHA JJJ; JOYCEJANICEJULIA. :D but okay luh, julia must have some time with friends too. dont always follow boyf uhhhh! :x heh.

KIMHYUNJOONG IS MY BOYF. LOL. ♥ virtual boyf at least, [by virtual i mean imaginary.]
hoho lets hope, and pray, that i wont fail english. :/

oh ya, EDWIN! WE MUST PLAY MAPLE OKAYS. i'll re-download again. heh. if i have extra $$ i buy cash for you. heheh. :D

BYEPEOPLEILOVEYOU♥:D

ofallpeople,whymustyoudisturbme. you'rereallyirritatingandstopcontactingme. youhaventhadanyidea, anyideahowmucheffortiputin, justtoforgetaboutyou. damnyou,dontmakethingsdifficultforme. wheneverimjustfeelingbetter, youcame&destroymyefforts, tomakeitworse. goawayidontwantyouinmylife.